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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25859332">Strumming Heartstrings</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/127ghouls/pseuds/127ghouls'>127ghouls</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, Getting Back Together, Love at First Sight, M/M, Romance, Whirlwind Romance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 07:00:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>32,997</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25859332</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/127ghouls/pseuds/127ghouls</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jaehyun is arguably the biggest fan of the famous rock band JADEITE. With his luck, the band's frontman, Lee Taeyong, becomes interested in him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Taeyong, Jung Yunho (DBSK)/Kim Jaejoong</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>213</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>WorthAKingsRansom</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Strumming Heartstrings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLadySilver/gifts">TheLadySilver</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I pictured ONE OK ROCK on JADEITE. Stan ONE OK ROCK.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Packed library. Occupied tables, stacks of books, sounds of scribble and frustrated murmurs. Everyone is wearing the same look of exhaustion on their faces, that runs down hunched figures and tensed muscles. It’s only the first semester, not even halfway to its end, and Sungkyunkwan University students are already two seconds away from calling time-out.</p><p>Eunwoo, senior Business major, frowns upon reviewing his phone calendar. Across him sharing the same table is another Business major slash the best friend of all time, Jaehyun. “God, it’s full. Do you see this?” He asks the other disbelievingly, flashing his phone to Jaehyun’s face for two seconds. “I can’t even squeeze in a party or two. Who thought it would be great to compress all the exams, research, and internship requirements in such a short time? This should be illegal. It’s like I don’t have the right to breathe.”</p><p>Sleepy and bored out of his wits, Jaehyun merely yawns before propping an elbow and cupping his cheek. Napping is prohibited but he’s got his back to the librarian so he might be able to catch a wink of sleep for a few minutes until the next period. He looks like he’s going to pass out any second. “I mean, we’re graduating. So this should be expected. Plus,” another yawn escapes him and Jaehyun finally closes his eyes before mumbling, “you wouldn’t rant like this if you knew how to manage your time properly.”</p><p>“Are you saying I’m slacking?” Eunwoo blinks a few times. “It’s not like you’re doing any better. Look at yourself. Maybe if you didn’t stay up late running that stan account and chatting up your Western mutuals or whatever, your eyebags wouldn’t be birthing little twin luggage under them. Speak for yourself.”</p><p>“Stop talking, I wanna sleep…”</p><p>“Satan, you see me in the apartment holed up in my room all day and you even had to drag me out once so I could eat. That’s how dedicated I am to my course.”</p><p>His best friend is arguably the most handsome in Sungkyunkwan but he’s got the most talkative mouth in the most inconvenient times. Which decreases his attractive points by five each time he blabbers. But Eunwoo doesn’t seem to care.</p><p>Jaehyun cracks one eye open to look at the other, sighing. “That was because you were up all night playing the PS4, nut-head. I thought you were dead. And as someone who doesn’t want the cops to find your body and suspect me for murder, it’s my duty to make sure you’re breathing. If you actually died from starvation <em>and </em>sleep deprivation, who’s going to suffer the brunt, isn’t it me?”</p><p>Eunwoo scoffs before putting his phone on the table face down. “Just say you don’t care about me and go back to looking for related literature, will you?” He rubs his chest in mock hurt. “Such a selfish little grem–”</p><p>“Hi, Jaehyun.”</p><p>The two men look up just as a lady in a flowy dress stops by their table. She has a long, black wavy hair and small face, fair skin. Big eyes. Pretty but unfamiliar. They exchange looks that say ‘<em>who´</em> before Jaehyun smiles at her as politely as he can. “Hey. You are…?”</p><p>She doesn’t seem to be offended by the lack of recognition. In fact, she brightens up. “I’m Cindy. I just wanna ask if you’re free tonight?”</p><p>Eunwoo’s mouth forms into a little ‘o’ as he looks at Jaehyun in understanding.</p><p>“I have an extra ticket to this movie and it’d be nice to not see it alone.” Cindy’s smile grows as she puts a ticket on the open book before Jaehyun, who blinks at it blankly.</p><p>Does she not have any friends? Surely, someone as pretty as her can’t be a loner. Jaehyun picks up the ticket and chances a look at Eunwoo before turning to Cindy. “Sounds great, but…why me? I mean, we don’t know each other.”</p><p>Her determination wanes a little bit at that, radiant smile cracking at the sides. “I like you. If the invitation isn’t clear enough. I’m from a different department so I get it if you don’t know me, though I was a part of the cheerleading squad ‘til last year, and I’m pretty sure you’ve seen me at least once in a game.” Bouncing on her heels once to shake away the jitters, the girl eyes him expectantly. “So, are we on?”</p><p>The tip of Jaehyun’s tongue pokes the inside of his cheek as he looks at the ticket. It’s not a bad thing, really, but he’s got a number of valid reasons to not accept it. “Um, Cindy, you know I’m really busy these days. I mean <em>all of us, </em>including you. So I’m sorry, but I’ll have to turn you down.”</p><p>At least he’s genuinely apologetic.</p><p>Eunwoo tries his best not to burrow himself into the ground. Second-hand embarrassment hits just as hard.</p><p>Cindy’s lips purse. It’s obvious that she doesn’t want to back down easily. “Are you sure? It’s just a movie…”</p><p>“Two hours would give me enough related lit to start my chapter 2, though.” Jaehyun returns the ticket. “I’m sorry.”</p><p>Her previous radiance gradually transitions to a look of defeat as she crumples the ticket in her hand. “Alright, maybe next time–”</p><p>Eunwoo clears his throat. “No good, no good.” He may feel bad about the girl but she’s clearly making Jaehyun uncomfortable. Phone in hand, he casually shows her his calendar. “Our schedules are the same. I’m sure one of your friends will be delighted to go with you, though.”</p><p>Finally, Cindy says sorry for bothering them before leaving the library in mortification.</p><p>“I just lied for you. We’re in different classes and you got a nice adviser who’s too cool that you don’t have to do anything tomorrow.” A smirk curls on Eunwoo’s lips before he leans in, one elbow on the table. “What’s the movie?”</p><p>Jaehyun winces and closes his book. “Some rom-com.”</p><p>“Yikes. Too boring.” Eunwoo comments more to himself before raising a brow as Jaehyun glumly rests his head on top of the book. “What’s wrong with you? You look so dead. Ah, let me guess.” He pretends to think deeply for a moment before snapping. “Aha. No coffee.”</p><p>“I didn’t get coffee this morning because the café is closed and never will I get one from the cafeteria. Tastes like butter.”</p><p>“Okay. But back to miss Cindy. Isn’t she like, the tenth admirer to have enough courage to ask you out? Yes, I’m counting. If you weren’t busy, would you go with her?”</p><p>Peering up at the other, Jaehyun’s brows furrow. “Did you forget who my parents are? <em>No dating until you graduate or we will cancel your credit card. Dating is a distraction and it will ruin your future; </em>those were their exact words. Not like agreeing to see a movie with her or anyone for that matter is a date. They have my brother call me once a day to make sure I’m doing what they’re expecting me to do.”</p><p>Eunwoo huffs incredulously as Jaehyun sits upright again. “Holy smokes. Even now? Even high school kids get laid more than you do. God bless teenage pregnancy stats.”</p><p>“They’re <em>that </em>strict, if you haven’t understood them yet. Plus, it’s fine. I mean, they did the same thing to <em>hyung </em>and look where he is now. He’s got his own vet clinic. Mom and dad want me starting up my own company as soon as I’m done here. Can’t disappoint them.”</p><p>“…I’m really thankful I wasn’t born rich. You may not have financial problems but you got serious family issues.”</p><p>“Shut up, it’s not an issue.” Jaehyun blows his bangs out of his sight before reopening the book to the same page. He’s not yet done taking notes. “They just want what’s best for me.”</p><p>Eunwoo shrugs, crossing his arms. “You gotta learn to have some fun, though? Once in a while? Just because they have your whole life planned out doesn’t mean you can’t do what you want.”</p><p>“And you think if I listen to you, I’d start going out with the women? I’m gay, remember? There are no guys asking me out. Or there are no guys I wanna ask out. Pick a struggle.”</p><p>“Pfft,” Eunwoo snorts before picking up his pen to continue writing. “But it would be fun to see a free movie. So you’re really just going to study for the whole week?”</p><p>“No choice.”</p><p>“Mm. Not even a cheat the day after tomorrow?” Eunwoo says and looks up to see Jaehyun deflating even more. They’re both painfully aware of what’s happening on Saturday. The university is organizing a charity concert for children with cancer and has invited a famous rock band that Jaehyun is a huge fan of.</p><p>Jaehyun slowly shakes his head, eyes downcast. The last bit of his energy dissipates. “I want to go, but <em>hyung </em>will call me.”</p><p>“You can tell him the truth. He’s not overbearing like your parents anyway.”</p><p>“I <em>know.</em> But I went to the office earlier to get tickets and it’s SOLD OUT.” The urge to cry and risk getting thrown out of the library gets stronger the more Jaehyun thinks about his misfortune. “How are they gonna run a charity concert and invite the best rock band out there AND not prepare enough tickets? They don’t know how famous <em>JADEITE</em> is, don’t they?”</p><p>At this point, Eunwoo can’t help but be amused at the sight of his best friend childishly ranting. “No, they don’t. <em>You </em>tell them.”</p><p>Jaehyun grips his pen, squinting. “Don’t make me or I’ll storm up there and report a 75-slide powerpoint presentation about how–”</p><p>“I get it, I get it. So you won’t go because you don’t have tickets. That’s it? Your brother isn’t even a hindrance?”</p><p>An embarrassing sniffle comes from Jaehyun. “This would’ve been my first time to see them live, Eunwoo.” For real. Jaehyun can’t believe he’s going to miss out on an incredible performance just because he’s too chicken to go against his parents despite them not having to know at all. None of them will ever understand his admiration for the band and their songs. To others, this is shallow and crazy. But JADEITE means <em>a lot </em>to him, more than they can imagine. “If only I could–”</p><p>Eunwoo sighs and picks up his backpack.</p><p>“–but I can’t. What if <em>hyung </em>sells me out and they cancel my card?” Jaehyun grabs a handful of his hair frustratedly. “What if–”</p><p>Two tickets appear right before his eyes, cutting him off.</p><p>Eunwoo takes one of Jaehyun’s hands and puts a ticket there. “I knew you’d have seconds thoughts, you nerd. Who knew I’d fight tooth and nail for these papers? And they’re expensive as fuck.” He keeps the other and looks at an inwardly freaking out Jaehyun with a grin. “Fuck studying. Let’s go see your boyfriends.”</p><p>“I… I don’t know what to say,” Jaehyun’s voice shakes as bad as his hands while looking at the piece of paper like a prized possession. And perhaps, it <em>is. </em>It’s almost like the key to a faraway treasure. “Eunwoo, you don’t understand–”</p><p>“Oh, but I do understand. That’s why I did the unthinkable just to get those. They’re your life. I had to do something about it. Simple as that. JADEITE over me anytime of the day.”</p><p>Jaehyun happily gives the ticket a thousand kisses before carefully slipping it in his wallet.</p><p>Eunwoo scratches under his nose as he fondly watches his best friend. “Look at you, not even denying it. So, we’re on?” He teasingly asks in reminiscent of Cindy’s tone.</p><p>“Yes!”</p><p>They lower their heads in humiliation as the librarian calls them out. Then, soft giggling fills their table as the duo muffle laughter behind their hands.</p><p>Jaehyun uncovers his mouth, eyes sparkling in pure excitement. “You’re my best friend, but you’re not wrong – I’ll choose the band over anything.”</p><p>Eunwoo slaps the top of his head.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Friday night. Jaehyun finishes a task as early as possible so he can eat and do something more fun on his laptop. Eunwoo merely watches him in amusement as he inhales the food, washes the dishes and locks himself up in his room. It only means one thing when Jaehyun is done ticking off his to-do list for the day.</p><p>Twitter is his sanctuary when it comes to fanboying over JADEITE. It’s where he met all of his wonderful online friends. Honestly, Twitter is more updated than any other social media. News spreads there in real-time. The band’s activities are also posted in their official account.</p><p>Jaehyun heads over to the band’s profile first and foremost. Confirmation of their attendance to the charity concert is pinned to the top, refilling the Business major with exhilaration. He’s restless. Most of his mutuals on Twitter have gone to see the band live at least twice and despite having thousands of followers, Jaehyun is embarrassed to say that he’s yet to meet them.</p><p>Tomorrow, things will change for him.</p><p>The charity concert will be held in Sungkyunkwan University grounds. Its field can accommodate as much as Jaehyun imagines. Earlier, the stage was almost done being set up. He’s seen chairs behind the VIP section – which is a little boring, because the performance will surely be explosive and no one should be found sitting down once JADEITE comes up on stage.</p><p>Everyone knows about the concert, so it’s not a surprise that his mutuals are asking if he’s going to watch them. The feeling that emanates within Jaehyun is indescribable as he tells them that yes, he’s finally going to see them live. No screens, no headphones. Just JADEITE in the flesh and a few feet in between them.</p><p>As he scrolls through the timeline, memories of how he discovered the band come back to him.</p><p>Jaehyun heard about them the first time five years ago, when sales of JADEITE’s first full album after three years since debut shot up, signaling the band’s breakthrough success. They became widely known by the general public that international debut followed soon enough. Their songs are deep and meaningful, tackling one’s dreams and ambitions, failures and regrets and a lot more through a sound that speaks to Jaehyun more than he expected. He didn’t know he’d be into rock, but it’s now his favorite genre.</p><p>Because he entered the fandom a bit late, he familiarized himself with the band by watching music videos (all of ‘em) and interviews, vlogs and everything he found on Youtube. Needless to say, he fell in love. Fell in love with the music, fell in love with the band’s friendship. And it was a piece of cake to choose a favorite member.</p><p>Fans usually love the vocalist more than the rest because of plenty of reasons – voice, visuals, charisma. But to Jaehyun, he admires <em>Lee Taeyong </em>for something that he believes is personal.</p><p>Taeyong is the band’s lead vocalist, lyricist, and composer along with Nakamoto Yuta, the lead guitarist. He’s a lyrical genius. There’s something in the play of his words that gives Jaehyun a vivid image and emotions so palpable that they strike him every time, opens his floodgates of repressed feelings and pull him into a trance. His voice, powerful and compelling, touches Jaehyun in ways unexplainable. And despite the tattoos and piercings, the fierce lines of his face, Taeyong is soft-hearted and so likable.</p><p>Jaehyun doesn’t fail to visit the vocalist’s personal Instagram account just to look at the real, unguarded version of him. Taeyong is silly and playful. Most of his posts are not even remotely aesthetic, just raw and pure randomness that somehow define him and give away his color. He likes posting memes, unflattering screencaps of himself, and many other weird things he’s not afraid of being judged for. Call him crazy and he does it even more.</p><p>There are too many reasons to love him, but what steals Jaehyun’s heart to this day is how he sees himself in the other if he didn’t follow his parents’ wishes and rather, pursued music. Music has been with Jaehyun since birth and plenty times he’s dreamed of doing what Taeyong is doing, but because he wanted to please his parents more than anything, he gave up on it without a second thought. It wasn’t much of a big deal that time. However, when he fell in too deep with JADEITE, Jaehyun realized he would’ve been happier if only he was braver.</p><p>But it’s fine. Business is okay, too, and it’s what’s going to make his parents happy. Maybe they are right. With music, you can never be certain. It’s either you’re very talented or you’re lucky. Jaehyun really doesn’t know what he’s capable of. Yes, he can sing. But that’s about it. He’s not sure if he’s got what it takes to be successful.</p><p><em>We can’t have everything we want, </em>he told himself when he enrolled to Business in Sungkyunkwan University. Jaehyun puts the dream about music behind him but keeps it in his shadows so that wherever he goes, it follows. It may not completely be one with him but it’s there and he doesn’t want it to disappear.</p><p>Jaehyun clicks on Taeyong’s latest post, a mirror selfie. He zooms it close enough to get a clear view of the vocalist’s face. His heart skips a beat on cue and blood rushes to his face to coat it beet red. The vocalist is undeniably attractive in every sense of the word and Jaehyun is nothing if not smitten with him. <em>Crush </em>doesn’t sit quite right with him when he gives a name to what he’s feeling. Once, he attempted to call it <em>love. </em>The reaction was just as he anticipated – giddiness, alarming pulse rate, and fear that he might actually be in love with the singer because rarely does dating a celebrity ever end positively, especially when the other half is a nobody.</p><p>And there’s a 0.000000000000000001% chance that Taeyong will date him anyway. Jaehyun indulges with daydreams sometimes even though he doesn’t look like it and that’s his limit. He doesn’t wanna be delusional.</p><p>Besides, he’s just another one among the thousands or even millions of fans who feel the same way.</p><p>He’s on the verge of breaking down from an imaginary rejection when his phone rings. Jaehyun sees <em>Yunho hyung </em>on the screen and internally winces for a moment before picking it up. “Hello?”</p><p>
  <em>“Jaehyun, how are you?”</em>
</p><p>“You call me everyday, hyung. I’m fine. Busy.”</p><p>
  <em>“Is that so? And yes, indeed I call you everyday and you are always busy. Yet for some reason unknown to mankind, I can’t bring myself to take your word right now.”</em>
</p><p>Jaehyun stills. Is his brother a mind-reader now? When did he quit being a vet? “Haha, what do you mean? I’m actually reading right now.”</p><p>Yes, he is. As a matter of fact, he’s multitasking – ogling Taeyong on his computer screen and lying through his teeth.</p><p>His brother chuckles. <em>“Jaehyun, if you’re going to lie, please remember to turn down the volume of whatever music is currently playing because I know that you cannot study unless it’s completely silent.”</em></p><p>Fuck. Busted. Jaehyun closes his laptop and slumps on the study desk, still holding the phone to his ear. “<em>Hyung, </em>I did all my readings and bookmarked a few sites to check for my paper. But it’s a Friday night and I think I deserve to take some rest…?”</p><p>
  <em>“Of course, you do. If you’re already done, then what’s the problem? Why do you sound defensive?”</em>
</p><p>Jaehyun sighs. He’s already got the ticket and he doesn’t want Eunwoo’s efforts to go to waste. Especially his money. “Can I ask you a favor?”</p><p>
  <em>“Whatever it is.”</em>
</p><p>“Please don’t tell mom and dad, but there’s a charity concert tomorrow within university grounds and I have a ticket, <em>hyung.</em> I really want to see them.”</p><p>
  <em>“Who’s performing?”</em>
</p><p>“JADEITE. They’re not demonic just because one of them has tattoos and three of them have piercings and dyed hair–” He stops, realizing he’s starting to sound even more defensive and it’s not going to help convince his brother that tattooed people with dyed hair and metals on their faces are not going to ruin his life. “<em>Hyung,” </em>he continues, desperate now, “you know I like them, right? Wait, no. I <em>love </em>them. You found my stash of albums and other merch under my bed. And you promised not to tell mom and dad. Can you please do it again this time? Please?”</p><p>
  <em>“First of all, I’m not judgmental. Tattooed men being diabolic is a boomer’s belief. I’m only 34, how dare you. Second, does this mean you’re not coming home tomorrow?”</em>
</p><p>Jaehyun takes a deep breath. Things are looking good. “I’m afraid not. Right after the concert, I promise I’ll be here in the apartment with Eunwoo.”</p><p>
  <em>“That concert will likely tire you out, so I suggest you stay there and just take a rest.”</em>
</p><p>The student straightens up, smile threatening to split his face in half. “Does this mean you’re letting me go? And you’re gonna help me lie to mom and dad?”</p><p>A sigh goes through his phone. <em>“They can’t keep you on a leash forever, Jaehyun. It’s a charity concert. I’m sure there will be no drugs and drinks involved. Actually, I’m proud of you. The money you used will help a lot of people in need.”</em></p><p>Well, he will pay Eunwoo tomorrow for sure. “Exactly, <em>hyung</em>. Thank you so much. I owe you my life.”</p><p>His brother laughs. <em>“Alright, I just wanted to know if you’re okay. Don’t be scared to tell us if you’re having a hard time. Mom and dad don’t even ask me sometimes whether or not I called you. I also want you to focus on your studies but most of all, I’m calling because you’re my brother and I want to know how you’re doing. If you want to rest, you don’t need to lie to me.”</em></p><p>“Yes, <em>hyung. </em>Got it. Thank you…”</p><p>
  <em>“Enjoy the concert. Don’t get too excited! It’d be a shame if the bouncers were to haul your unconscious ass out of the crowd before they even begin playing.”</em>
</p><p>“<em>Hyung!</em>” It’s not actually impossible. Jaehyun worries that he might pass out and the concert is over once he wakes up. Oh, how severely he would cry to Eunwoo if it happens.</p><p>
  <em>“I’m kidding. Have fun tomorrow, okay? I’m hanging up now.”</em>
</p><p>Jaehyun says bye to Yunho, puts the phone down, stares at the wall for a minute before grabbing a pillow to bury his face on it as he screams. God, he’s so excited he can barely contain it. What more when JADEITE is finally in front of him, singing live, commanding the crowd like the kings they are? He <em>will </em>pass out – but after the concert!</p><p>Fortunately, his 22-year old ass screaming pathetically goes unheard. Grinning, he opens his laptop. The first thing he sees when he logs back on Twitter is a mutual fighting another anti. Even the buffoon’s try-hard hate comment can’t dampen his mood. Cracking his knuckles, Jaehyun gets ready to make the mothertrucker cry. “Let’s see how fast I can make you deactivate.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>For a van taking a group of musicians to the charity concert they’ll be performing at, it’s particularly quiet. No music playing. Each member of JADEITE is doing their own thing – sleeping, texting, watching a video, eating. Perhaps musicians also get sick of listening to the same songs on the radio.</p><p>All of them take up the four seats in the back as their substitute manager sits shotgun. The equipment is in the vehicle behind them since they might get damaged if put in a compacted space.</p><p>Haechan, JADEITE’s drummer, neatly folds an empty bag of chips before stuffing it in the seat. “I googled Sungkyunkwan University last night. Damn, if I didn’t drop out, I would’ve been an alumnus already.”</p><p>Yuta looks away from his phone. “Who said you’d finish high school?”</p><p>“Fuck off. My grades were probably better than yours.”</p><p>The lead guitarist smirks as he pockets his phone before flicking Haechan’s forehead, earning a shriek. “Sew that mouth shut or I’ll dye your hair back to black.”</p><p>“You wouldn’t.” Haechan gasps. “My red hair makes me ten times gorgeous.”</p><p>“Yes, I would.”</p><p>“I dare you and I will shave your head bald. You think your blonde undercut does it for you?” The drummer snarls as he looks at Yuta in halfhearted contempt. “No, your brow slit is not hot. Even that horrendous septum piercing.”</p><p>Yuta looks at him in disbelief. “You said it was cool!” He flinches when Mark shushes them and points to a sleeping Taeyong next to him. “When the three of us got pierced, you said mine was the coolest.”</p><p>Haechan sticks out his tongue. Despite being 25, he still acts like a brat. Probably because he’s the youngest. “Only because it reminded me of a bull. If I’m gonna be honest, Mark’s is the best. Studded eyebrow? I’d get mine pierced so we could be matching if I wasn’t scared.”</p><p>The lead guitarist snorts. “At least you know you’re a coward.”</p><p>“Sungkyunkwan, huh.” Mark chimes in before kneeling on his seat as he turns to the two in the back. “It’s the first time a university invited us. You’d think they’d go for balladeers. I wonder <em>why </em>they chose us out of all singers.”</p><p>Mark, the band’s resident bassist may not be the youngest but he seems like it at times. Frequently teased for being innocent.</p><p>“Because we’re currently the hottest stars?” Yuta says and waves dismissively at the sub manager when he reminds Mark to sit properly. “Don’t worry, he’s got his baby seatbelt on.”</p><p>“Fuck you.”</p><p>“Ohh, he’s totally not a baby. Babies do not swear. Anyway, back to the main topic. They could’ve gone for another idol group but we all know they’d make more money if we were there. Which we definitely did.”</p><p>Haechan nods. “Not to be arrogant or what, but we gave justice to rock in a music industry that is currently oversaturated with idols. I wouldn’t be surprised if events started inviting more bands than groups.”</p><p>The bassist mulls over it for a moment. “That much is true. And even though <em>Telltale </em>was lackluster, I guess the popularity buried it under.”</p><p>Talks about their last album get always a bit sensitive. Although it came out six months ago, the less than magnificent critiques still haunt them to this day. Yuta cautiously glances at the sleeping vocalist. “They won’t look at the critics’ reviews. Do you think events inviting idols look at what the professionals have to say about their songs? The fans are paying, not the critics.”</p><p>Haechan smirks as he checks his nails. “If Jaejoong <em>hyung </em>was here, he’d be lecturing us again. Why is he absent?”</p><p>Mark shrugs. “Other commitments. Anyway, his sub will do a good job, right?” The substitute manager waves at them dismissively. To be honest, they don’t even care to know his name.</p><p>“Is <em>he </em>asleep?” The drummer asks, pertaining to Taeyong.</p><p>Yuta raises a brow at him.</p><p>“’Cause I wanna talk about what we’re gonna do about the next album. I know it won’t come out ‘til next year but we got a tour to do and won’t it be harder for him to write? The company wants us to try something different because it’s why <em>Telltale </em>lacked approval – they said our music has become stagnant. And you guys agree, right? We’ve been playing for eight years. Things are bound to change. If we don’t serve something new on the table, someone else will <em>and </em>will do it better.”</p><p>Mark purses his lips in thought. “It’s unavoidable though?”</p><p>“We want to avoid it.” Haechan deadpans.</p><p>Yuta clicks his tongue and rakes a hand through his hair, brows furrowed. “They want us to sing about love.”</p><p>“And?”</p><p>“Taeyong writes what he understands. You were there at the meeting last week. He’s reluctant to write because of the last album’s reviews. He doesn’t want to write what he can’t understand. Romance targets the general market but what if it’s ineffective? Who are they going to blame? It’s him again.”</p><p>“He’s a genius,” the bassist says – and he says nothing but the truth. Before <em>Telltale, </em>Taeyong was dubbed JADEITE’s lyrical genius. “He can do it.”</p><p>The lead guitarist shrugs before his gaze moves south to stare at the random stain on the back of Mark’s seat. “I’m just explaining what he explained to the management. If you’re going to ask me, maybe the company can hire a songwriter for us. The composition will be on them, too. I have no problems not getting royalties this time. If it’s going to give us a better album than <em>Telltale.</em>”</p><p>Haechan shifts in his seat, brows furrowed in confusion. “What’s so hard about writing love songs? Just watch a movie or read a book.”</p><p>“I can’t simply do that.”</p><p>The trio stiffens as Taeyong rubs sleep out of his eyes before craning his neck left and right.</p><p>“It’s easier to write anything other than that because we all have dreams, we all fail, we all have fears, we all struggle – it’s easier to remember what pain feels like than happiness. If someone asks you to tell your happiest childhood memory, it’ll take you longer than coming up with either an embarrassing or sad recollection.” The vocalist looks at them without a trace of offense to their previous conversation. “I may write five or ten songs about romance but I can’t sing it like the company expects me to. Because I can’t understand what I’m singing. Can you?”</p><p>Mark rapidly shakes his head. “I’ve never been in love before.” He says, before looking at a frowning Haechan. “What?”</p><p>Taeyong rolls his tongue for a moment while gathering his thoughts. It’s a habit he picked up when he got the frosted barbell piercing. “Listen, I worry about the next album too, but we can’t rush things. <em>Telltale </em>is only six months old. The most beautiful masterpieces take time to create. Quality over quantity. Maybe that’s why it didn’t appeal to the critics. Because we were concerned about how much we could give.”</p><p>The whole band can agree on that. Competition in the Korean rock scene is getting tighter and <em>Telltale </em>was born out of the greed to keep their position on top.</p><p>“They want you to write anyway,” Yuta says. “I don’t think it’s up to us anymore when the next album should come out. We’re still funding our labelmates.”</p><p>“Just…” Taeyong pauses to let out a heavy sigh. “I don’t know if I want to risk it. <em>Telltale </em>means a lot to me but it failed the critics. I know our fans will still eat it up and we’ll still get a fuckton of money but we’re getting older as artists. We gotta aim for the reviews rather than sales. You guys understand me, right? I am aware things are destined to change but a change will make or break us. The company should know that better than anyone. Pushing me to write as efficiently as before about an uncharted territory while expecting it to be welcomed right away? That’s 50-50.”</p><p>“Then we can just–”</p><p>“And <em>no,</em> I don’t want anyone else to write for us.” His gaze hardens, pinning them with the finality of his decision. “It’s one thing to play songs that not all of us can relate to, but it’s another thing to play songs that we didn’t even make. We’ve been making our own songs since the beginning. It won’t make sense to change that now that we’re established.”</p><p>“Alright,” the lead guitarist nods, biting his lip. “Then you just need to do better than <em>Telltale.</em>”</p><p>“That’s the goal. But I can’t force myself. I’m sure the fans will understand if it takes time.”</p><p>Haechan glances out the window just as they drive past the university gates. “The company won’t understand, though.”</p><p>Taeyong sits up to remove his leather jacket. He doesn’t even know why he wore it when he’ll end up taking it off on stage anyway for fanservice. “Just get ready to give everyone their money’s worth today.”</p><p>The sight of the stage somehow pulls up their spirits. Yuta shakes his hands, already itching to astonish the audience with his guitar solo. “Let’s do this.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The whole place is packed. Jaehyun can’t even see the green grasses anymore from where he is because everywhere he looks, there are heads and more heads of Sungkyunkwan University students and outsiders. There aren’t supposed to be bleachers on either side but seeing how crowded it is in the standing section, the staff decided to put them for those who cannot survive standing for a long time.</p><p>Because some other performers are young theater groups, some children, the concert starts early so they won’t have to wait until late for when everyone has to be on stage for the ending. It says on the ticket that it will be done by 5pm.</p><p>Jaehyun checks the time. It’s only a little over 3. The main event has just started and there’s several more performances before it’s JADEITE’s turn. Wondering if the band is already waiting backstage, he keeps craning his neck to check the side of the stage. He’s seen several vans arrive earlier but none of them caught a glimpse of the stars.</p><p>Eunwoo rolls his eyes. “Chill, Jae. You’re gonna see them.” He says before scooting a little to the right – it’s crowded and everyone’s skin is touching, and Jaehyun is making it more difficult with all the minute wiggling he does trying to look for JADEITE. “Keep still, oh my god.”</p><p>“I can’t, I can’t. My heart is beating too fast. You feel it?” Jaehyun grabs Eunwoo’s hand and puts it on his chest, nose scrunching as his best friend withdraws in disgust. “I need to do something, anything, because I feel like I’m gonna pass out if I keep still.”</p><p>“It’s a little disrespectful to the other performers that you’re already looking for somebody else when they’re still up there trying to do their best.”</p><p>Onstage is a popular girl group. The lady on Jaehyun’s left gives him the stink eye when he groans quite loudly. “Sorry, he’s got a bad stomach.” Eunwoo tells her before jabbing Jaehyun’s side, causing the latter to jerk upright. “You’re embarrassing. Enjoy the others too, will you?”</p><p>Jaehyun grips the barrier, sighing. They’re luckily at the very front row. Since there are no queueing numbers for the standing section, he took it upon himself to drag Eunwoo to the venue 8 hours earlier. Even though Sungkyunkwan University students are prioritized at the entrance, he didn’t want to be too sure that he’d still have the best view if he waited ‘til an hour before the gates opened. Basically, their lunch was spent there for Jaehyun was too anxious and Eunwoo didn’t really have a choice – the former wouldn’t leave him alone.</p><p>Short talks and presentations regarding the purpose of the charity are squeezed in between performances. And as JADEITE’s turn to be up there gets closer and closer, Jaehyun’s heart pumps alarmingly fast. He might be starting to hyperventilate.</p><p>The host comes up on stage as a boy group leaves the spotlight, and the crowd gets louder.</p><p>“Alright everyone, I know standing under the sun is the least you’d all want to do <em>but,</em>” he pauses dramatically as he knowingly looks over the audience with an excited smile, “for our next and last performer, I’m sure it’s not a problem is it?”</p><p>Jaehyun has long subdued the noise when men start frantically going back and forth up the stage to set up some band equipment.</p><p>Drums, amplifiers, <em>and oh God, that’s Yuta’s Fender Jazzmaster Electric Guitar over the orange amplifier he always uses! </em>He’s on an emotional rollercoaster and it doesn’t go unnoticed by Eunwoo who rubs his back in amusement.</p><p>“I’m not even a fan but I’m excited now because of you.”</p><p>Three microphone stands are put on stage. Jaehyun knows exactly who will be using the one on the left – Mark, on the right – Yuta, and at the center – Taeyong.</p><p>Taeyong. Any second from now, there will only be 15 feet stretching between him and the vocalist.</p><p>He fails to hear the host call the band on stage, and Jaehyun only gets pulled out of trance as the crowd erupts into deafening cheers when the JADEITE members finally appear.</p><p>Jaehyun can’t even stop himself from screaming and waving excitedly. “Taeyong!” He knows no matter how loud he screams the vocalist’s name, he will not be heard. Nonetheless, it’s only <em>Taeyong </em>that comes out of his mouth when owner of said name approaches his mic stand and greets the crowd.</p><p>“How do I even call you? I know not everyone here is a fan, so will it be fine to just call you Sungkyunkwan?” He laughs in embarrassment, and the sound fades when he says something inaudibly to Yuta. “Alright, before we start playing, I want you guys to remember each talented member here with me. This is Yuta, our lead guitarist. Mark, our bassist, and that’s our drummer Haechan. I’m Taeyong, JADEITE’s singer.”</p><p>It’s crazy how Taeyong continues to talk casually without being aware of what his voice does to Jaehyun. And not only that – he’s sleeveless, showing the intricate sleeve tattoo on his left arm. His habitual lip-licking only pushes Jaehyun further off the cliff because <em>that’s a whole tongue piercing right there</em>, and the only thing that keeps Jaehyun from climbing over the barricade is looking at Taeyong’s sexy ash blonde hair. That pins him in his place.</p><p>“…let go of the shyness and have fun. Can you guys do that for me?”</p><p>Jaehyun screams his lungs out to give Taeyong his well-deserved <em>yes.</em></p><p>Not too long after that, Yuta skillfully plays the intro of <em>Fanfare </em>from their album <em>Neverland.</em></p><p>Heavy metal resonates all over the grounds and Jaehyun finds himself singing with the crowd, losing himself to the addicting Drop D riffs and wild drum beats. Not once do his eyes leave anyone from JADEITE, especially Taeyong.</p><p><em>So this is how it feels to watch them live, </em>he thinks, just as the vocalist points his mic to the audience and commands them to keep singing. It’s surreal. Like he’s floating on air and anytime, he will wake up from a dream. He’s fully aware of how Taeyong controls the crowd with a single flick of hand, or even a piercing gaze. Yet even as it happens in the flesh, Jaehyun can’t bring himself to believe it. He doesn’t want the best time of his life to end.</p><p>Four songs. JADEITE has the longest time slot among all the performers and even though they continuously play, none of the members look remotely tired. Sweaty, yes. And Jaehyun highly appreciates it as a sweaty Taeyong, with hair sticking to his forehead squats near the edge of the stage and stares a girl in the eyes while singing the lyrics to <em>Life Line.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>When you feel like drowning, reach out to me</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I will hold you tight and let you cling to me</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Cause in the trying times all we have is you and I</em>
</p><p>
  <em>My words will be your life line</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p><em>Life Line </em>is not even a love song. It’s from <em>Soul Pirates</em> album which talks about failure and resilience. But Jaehyun can’t help his jealousy due to Taeyong’s unwavering attention on the girl for the whole 10 seconds of that verse.</p><p>His silly jealousy dissipates when pop rock single <em>It’s My Call </em>follows, and especially when the last song comes up. His favorite track from the <em>Cursed by The Season </em>album, <em>Surge.</em></p><p>Aside from the fact that the song gives people courage during the most difficult times when obstacles seem to keep slowing down their pace, Taeyong’s vocals in <em>Surge </em>go beyond the limit. It’s both powerful, compelling, and moving. It feels like nothing can bring him down whenever Jaehyun listens to it.</p><p>When the best part comes on, Jaehyun grips the barrier so tight his knuckles turn white. He can’t miss a second of Yuta’s insane guitar solo and the fanservice, <em>the fanservice</em>!, as Taeyong gets on his knees right before the guitarist to belt out the following verse, in a position that has the fangirls scrambling to write the obscenest fanfictions. Despite that, Jaehyun feels nothing but elation as he sings along to the climax of <em>Surge</em>.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Even as the lightning strikes down my body</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I will rise up and continue moving forward</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Cast the storm my way and all its lethal hazard</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Braving waves of the highest tide, you can’t paralyze me</em>
</p><p> </p><p>The same verse repeats thrice until the end, and Taeyong jogs back to his spot at the center, humming the last notes with the fading drums and lingering bass in the background.</p><p>“Thank you, everyone!” He says raggedly before walking close to the edge of the stage again and crouching <em>right in front </em>of an inwardly freaking out Jeong Jaehyun. “That was a great show. JADEITE fans…”</p><p>What happens next has Eunwoo gawking at an equally stunned Jeong Jaehyun.</p><p>Taeyong looks at the <em>very attractive</em> fanboy with twin dimples in the front row (that caught his attention even before the first song started) and says to the mic, “I love you,” before giving a flirtatious wink and leaving the stage with the rest of the members, taking Jaehyun’s heart with him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“What was that,” Jaehyun finds his voice five minutes after everyone making up the success of the charity event takes their last bow. JADEITE, the humble band they are, chose to stand behind the others to give them more exposure, which saddened the fanboy a little bit.</p><p>But it’s fine! It’s perfectly fine! He’s got more than what he signed up for! Lee Taeyong winking at him? Lee Taeyong looking at him as he said I love you to the fans? It’s fine! He’s leaving this charity concert knowing he’s the luckiest fan in the world and he can’t wait to see his Twitter mutuals writhe in envy.</p><p>Staff begin directing people to the exit. Still completely astounded, Jaehyun lets Eunwoo pull him away, mumbling things to himself as he mindlessly follows his best friend to the function hall.</p><p>“…I don’t know how long it’s gonna be so I’ll head back to the apartment first. I’m fucking starving.” Eunwoo groans. “Don’t faint or I swear to god, I’ll pretend not to know you.”</p><p>Jaehyun’s last remaining brain cell quivers in confusion. “What?”</p><p>Eunwoo huffs in disbelief before pushing Jaehyun to a long line outside the function hall. “I said I’m hungry so I won’t wait for you to finish the meet and greet.”</p><p>“…What meet and greet?”</p><p>“…Don’t tell me you don’t know.” Eunwoo slips his hand in Jaehyun’s back pocket and fishes out the ticket, waving it furiously at the latter’s face. “Your ticket is blue! All blue tickets get to meet JADEITE and have them sign your merch! Didn’t you look at it? Here,” he flips the ticket and jabs a finger to the <em>NOTICE</em> in bold letters. “That’s why I fought tooth and nail for this expensive ticket, Jae.”</p><p>The poor cell in Jaehyun’s shrinking brain finally gives up on him as he begins to visibly tremble. “Eunwoo, oh my god. I’m going to fucking talk to them, is that what you’re telling me?”</p><p>“Well, you are the fanboy. You’re supposed to know how they do it.”</p><p>“B-but I have nothing with me! What are they going to sign?!” Panic surges through Jaehyun as he desperately pats himself for something, anything that is passable to get signed. He comes up with none. All the people in line before him has an album, a shirt, everything that Jaehyun left in the apartment. “I can’t go back to get something first, can I?”</p><p>Eunwoo shakes his head. “No, because I don’t think they’re gonna let you back in. Wait,” he says and walks ahead looking at each person in line before stopping next to a teenager and asking for a spare paper. The fangirl gives him one as well as a pen. Eunwoo thanks her and jogs back to his panicking friend, wearing a smug face. “See what being calm and thinking can do?”</p><p>Jaehyun takes the pen and paper, mumbling an embarrassed <em>thank you.</em> “The last thing you should expect me to do right now is calm down. I was too excited that I didn’t even think of looking at the back of the ticket. Didn’t want to lose it so I kept it in my wallet…” He looks at the pen and glances at Eunwoo. “I’ll pay you back later.”</p><p>“For what?”</p><p>“The ticket.”</p><p>“Don’t mind it,” Eunwoo says with a pat on Jaehyun’s shoulder before pointing to the exit. “I’m going now, okay? When I said I was starving, I didn’t lie.”</p><p>Jaehyun watches his best friend go before doing a simple breathing exercise to calm his nerves while the line gradually shortens.</p><p>Thirty minutes later, he can already see the JADEITE members signing merchandise and chatting with fans. His stubborn heart refuses to be still. A few more minutes and the distance between him and Taeyong will be even shorter.</p><p>
  <em>Will he remember me? I know he looked right at me but it might just be a spur of the moment. Even I easily forget things I just did.</em>
</p><p>The fanboy melancholically muses. That brief interaction means a lot to him. However, he’s also aware that such things are nothing to celebrities as it’s literally their job to satisfy their fans’ wishes. Jaehyun shouldn’t be disappointed because he’s admittedly being borderline delusional, yet it seems ineluctable.  </p><p>Taeyong is more than just an idol to him. Taeyong is the embodiment of Jaehyun’s hidden aspirations.</p><p>
  <em>And how many others are just like you? You’re nothing special.</em>
</p><p>Jaehyun spends the remaining time silently wallowing in despair, and looks up to see that Haechan is smiling brightly at him.</p><p>“Hey! It’s <em>you!</em>”</p><p>Jaehyun stares at the drummer in half confusion and half daze, before handing his pathetic piece of paper, sans the pen since Haechan has his own marker. “M-me?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Haechan grins up at him before purposely taking up the bottom part of the paper for his <em>huge </em>signature. “You were kinda conspicuous, you know? Ah, scratch it. You <em>are </em>conspicuous.” He returns the paper to Jaehyun without a hint of mockery towards the fanboy’s choice of item to be signed. “Did you have fun?”</p><p>“I did,” Jaehyun says, a little breathless. Haechan is one beautiful man, not gonna lie. “I’m a fan. But this is my first time seeing you live. You’re really good…”</p><p>Haechan shrugs it off playfully before a staff tells Jaehyun to move along. The next member to sign his paper is Mark.</p><p>“Hello, thank you for coming – oh no, it’s not our concert. Sorry about that!” Blushing from his little mistake, Mark asks for Jaehyun’s name before signing and adding a little message beneath his signature. “Thank you for being our fan, Jaehyun!”</p><p>Huh, Mark is really cute. All those fan accounts are true. Mark may not be the youngest and he’s still adorable at 26. Perhaps it’s the lack of chance at being just an ordinary kid when he debuted nearly eight years ago.</p><p>Jaehyun brightly smiles at him before taking a deep breath as he turns to the lead guitarist. Yuta can be a little intimidating when it’s not just the four of them, usually taciturn in interviews and letting the others speak. But he’s one of the loudest when the camera catches them in a carefree setting.</p><p>He greets the guitarist first, then hands the paper. Yuta takes a second to look at it and Jaehyun, a hint of amusement on his face before signing diagonally, which leaves Taeyong a tiny space for his own signature. “I guess we can let you slide for not bringing a merch or anything JADEITE-related. Some people are just born special, aren’t they?”</p><p>Special? Jaehyun was just battling with himself earlier and he’s come to a conclusion that he’s anything but that. Looking at Yuta’s expressive eyes makes him think otherwise, though. There’s something in them that tells him the guitarist means more than what he said.</p><p>“Move along, please.”</p><p>Visibly flinching in panic, Jaehyun slams the paper down the table, narrowly missing Taeyong’s hands. “Oh – I’m sorry!”</p><p>Taeyong merely smirks at him as he pulls the paper close with a finger, not looking away from Jaehyun. Obviously openly flirting once again like he did out there. “Did you forget to bring an album?”</p><p>Jaehyun keeps his quivering hands behind his back as he shakes his head. “Actually, I didn’t know there’d be something like this and all my merch are in my apartment.” Biting his lip in humiliation, he chances a quick look at the other members who are busy chatting with other fans. “Um, I’m…a really big fan of yours, by the way.”</p><p>“Really?” Taeyong still hasn’t looked away from the fanboy. Deliberately, he stares at the transparently squirming handsome man before him with a gaze so sharp and coy at the same time. He wants to make sure that <em>this </em>beautiful specimen knows the feeling is mutual. “Who’s your favorite member?”</p><p>“You.”</p><p>“Straightforward, aren’t we.” Taeyong looks at his signature, squished between Yuta’s and Haechan’s before scribbling something under it, small enough for only Jaehyun to see. “Your name is Jaehyun, I assume?”</p><p>Jaehyun’s breath hitches. His name has never sounded so sexy before yet somehow, the way it rolls off Taeyong’s pierced tongue makes his insides churn with want. “Yes…”</p><p>“Thank you for being our fan, Jaehyun. I hope to see you again.” Taeyong hands him his paper.</p><p>“I’m not sure if I can go to your concert since I’m gonna be busy.”</p><p>“It doesn’t necessarily have to be at the concert.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Taeyong runs a hand through his bleached hair, the details of his sleeve tattoo so HD when seen up close. Jaehyun wonders how torturously long it was done. “See you next time, Jaehyun.”</p><p>The last thing that creeps into Jaehyun’s mind is Taeyong winking at him for the second time that day before a staff escorts him to the exit.</p><p>A new fan quickly replaces Jaehyun’s spot, much to Taeyong’s internal dismay. Nevertheless, he puts on a smile as he asks for the fan’s name, barely containing the screaming of his own rapidly beating heart.</p><p>He might have looked calm and collected outside but since laying his sight on the fanboy for the first time, it’s just Jaehyun’s face that filled his mind throughout the performance to the point that the first thing he did after getting off the stage was tell the others about it.</p><p>Romance hardly comes by to people like them who are frequently under the spotlight and pummeled with hectic work. Romance is deep, complicated, and risky. Romance, to celebrities, is just a phase more often than not. It’s why Taeyong is reluctant to start writing for the next album that will make up for <em>Telltale</em>’s shortcomings.</p><p>But today, Taeyong may just believe in something as absurd as love at first sight.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Eunwoo looks up from remaking a house of cards on the center table as Jaehyun finally arrives. “You good?” He asks a dazed-looking Jeong Jaehyun who sits mechanically next to him on the floor. “You didn’t pass out?”</p><p>Brows furrowing in reaction, Jaehyun appears to have snapped out of it with a dirty look sent Eunwoo’s way. “Why do you want me to pass out so bad? If you didn’t pay for my ticket, I would’ve already put you in a headlock.”</p><p>“But you can’t do that so I win. I don’t know, it would go down in history if you did. What happened?”</p><p>The cards strewn over the table momentarily receives Jaehyun’s distracted gaze, before the man rests his head on them with a thunk. Jaehyun sighs dreamily. “They’re so perfect, what the fuck. I stammered a bit talking to them. Humiliated myself, sort of.”</p><p>“I expected just as much,” Eunwoo teases as he gathers the cards. Can’t make a house anymore with such disruption, also known as Jeong Jaehyun in his JADEITE stan mode. “You turn into this squeaky, high as a kite fanboy whenever you talk about them. It’s like the cool, charismatic Jaehyun suddenly goes into hiding.”</p><p>Jaehyun angles his head so he could flatly look at Eunwoo much easier.</p><p>Eunwoo snorts. “It’s true! On normal days you’re this hot, smart business major – after me – that everyone wants to ask out. You carry yourself with grace. But when JADEITE is the subject, you turn into a putty clay.” He starts arranging the card uniformly. “I guess they just have that effect on you.”</p><p>Well, Jaehyun can’t refute any of that because they’re all true. He’s got a best friend with an extreme allergy to tactfulness. “You know what, I’ll give you some credit ‘cause that’s exactly what happened back there. Taeyong flirted with me.”</p><p>“Duh, I witnessed that. Winked at you, said <em>I love you. </em>Fuck the millions of fans they have. You won this day. No one is as relevant as you.” Eunwoo hypes Jaehyun up as the latter sits properly again.</p><p>“Stop exaggerating. But thanks. Anyway, he did it again at the meet and greet. Or fansign. Same difference. He stared at me like he was undressing me with his eyes, no cap!” Jaehyun vehemently waves his hands. “I’m not delusional. Well, at times I am but I know what I saw. His voice sounded extra sinful and I wanted to–” He pauses considerately. “Can I get into detail?”</p><p>Eunwoo scrunches his nose. “I’m done eating so go on.”</p><p>Jaehyun smiles. “Thank you, you kind mortal. So, I wanted to push him against the wall and have my way with him.”</p><p>A beat of silence, with the imaginary cry of cicadas the only continuous sign of life around them. Once again, Jaehyun deflates after realizing how indecent that sounds. “<em>Eunwoo,</em>” he sobs. “Thank you for not assuming I’m dealing with it perfectly fine. ‘Cause I’m not.”</p><p>“…I think it’s gonna help if you tweet about it. Like the way your online friends show off when they get a VIP ticket.” Eunwoo puts the deck of cards back in its box and leaves it on the table. “Nothing can defeat your front row barricade spot, wink, I love you and whatever he exactly did at the meet and greet.”</p><p>Jaehyun ponders for a second before shaking his head. “It’s so personal. I think I want our interaction to be just <em>ours.</em> Something between just the two of us. I don’t wanna share it to the world, especially that I don’t get to see them as often as other fans.”</p><p>“Ahuh, if you say so. I’m happy for you, by the way. Imagine if you skipped this concert and he did all those things to someone else.” Feeling rather dorky at the moment, Eunwoo makes a comically pained face before clutching his chest. “Hurts right in your meow meow, no?”</p><p>“…You’re really weird when you want to be. What you’re doing is fattening up my delusions.” The truth never stops stinging Jaehyun’s fanboy heart. “He definitely flirted with a lot of fans.”</p><p>“And bedded them. I heard that celebrities do that when they’re touring. Very normal celebrity culture.”</p><p>A sigh leaves Jaehyun. “I don’t wanna be sad. This is the first and last time we’d see each other so I should bask in never-ending happiness. Even if he implied otherwise.”</p><p>Eunwoo raises a brow. “What do you mean?”</p><p>Shrugging it off, Jaehyun takes out the paper from his wallet and unfolds it on the table, carefully straightening it. “I’ll have this framed tomorrow.”</p><p>“Let me see, you lucky little shit.” Eunwoo takes the paper and appraises each signature. “Hmm, they really do it prettily, huh.” Suddenly, he squints at one of them before looking at his best friend over the paper. “Did you not look at this closely like you didn’t with the ticket?”</p><p>“Do I have to?”</p><p>Eunwoo flips it over for Jaehyun to see what he’s pointing at under Taeyong’s signature. “Disagree with me when I say you’re relevant one more time and I’ll kick you out.”</p><p>Jaehyun frowns at him before shoving his face to the paper to see what the other’s bitching about, until an alarmingly loud gasp tears through him at the sight of a series of numbers – obviously a phone number, scribbled right there. “WHY WOULD HE DO THIS?”</p><p>“How many times do you want me to compliment your looks? Besides that, you get very cute when talking about them. I can only imagine how you acted while literally chatting him up.” Eunwoo puts the paper down as carefully and dramatically slow as he can while looking at Jaehyun knowingly. “I think he’s interested in you.”</p><p>In a snap, Jaehyun has his phone in a tight clutch while staring wide eyed at the number. “What if it’s fake?”</p><p>“Then it’s fake. And he’s an asshole. And you will never know if you don’t text it. Text him first, then let him make the first call.”</p><p>Is this real? Is this <em>really </em>real? Did the love of his life, his most favorite singer, also known as the reason he’s got some personality in him, just gave his number to a fan? Isn’t this dangerous? How often does Taeyong even do this? Does he not care about stalkers? What if Jaehyun was one of them? How reckless!</p><p>But definitely a blessing to Jaehyun’s elusive luck.</p><p>Eunwoo watches Jaehyun go through an internal breakdown and looks at the box of cards, drumming his fingers on the table. “I’m not really into any celebrity so I’ll never understand what it means to catch their attention when there are millions of us. But I know you’re ecstatic.”</p><p>Jaehyun’s gaze diverts to his best friend’s.</p><p>“This is um, for the lack of a better word, phenomenal. Dramatic but befitting.” A soft smile graces Eunwoo’s features. “You should go for it. I told you to live a little, right? You can’t be on your parent’s leash forever.”</p><p>“I know…”</p><p>“But Jaehyun, as much as I support you, you have to remember that regardless of how deep you think you know these stars, you don’t see them everyday to know who they really are off cam. What you see on screen may be the opposite of what’s behind the scenes. I’m not trying to change how you see them, but that’s reality.”</p><p>Jaehyun wets his lips. He’s painfully aware of that. “You care for me and I appreciate that. Profoundly.”</p><p>The worry in Eunwoo’s chest lightens. “I just don’t want you to be taken advantage of. Wearing your heart on your sleeve can get pretty tragic. But hey! Go see him. He obviously likes you. You’re old enough to take care of yourself anyway.”</p><p>Jaehyun nods with a fond sigh. “What would I do without you?”</p><p>“Probably cry because no one else would willingly get in a war to buy you that ticket?”</p><p>They both laugh at it even though Jaehyun can only imagine the hell Eunwoo went through for him.</p><p>“I’ll text the number tomorrow. Or whenever.” It’s not like Taeyong’s anticipating him, right? The guy is surely busy. Might have even forgotten the whole thing already – which sucks because then Jaehyun is the only one getting worked up about it.</p><p>Eunwoo reclines against the couch, arms propped on it. “You told me last week that the band is going on a world tour?”</p><p>“Yeah, like a month from now.”</p><p>Another concert that everyone on his Twitter timeline will enjoy, except for him. Worse when the same mutuals fly to different countries just to be at each stop.</p><p>“Might wanna text him earlier then.”</p><p>“You think so?”</p><p>Eunwoo nods. “A day passing by with you postponing it is a day wasted. But you do it however you wanna do it. Since he’s the one that gave his number, I guess it’s fine if you make him wait a bit more. Besides, you waited for this day to come for so long. Make him suffer.”</p><p>Jaehyun laughs before pocketing his phone. He needs to think this thoroughly. Taeyong obviously wants to see him judging from his words. And if the singer wants them to meet, Jaehyun won’t be able to say no. No matter how strict his parents are. He will ask Yunho another favor but this time, it’s going to be unreasonable.</p><p>The last time he’d been the most ‘rebellious’ was in freshman year when they were struck with the culture shock of plenty college parties. Drinking here and there got Jaehyun discovering his impressive alcohol tolerance and Eunwoo’s painful lack of it. The unforgettable experience of losing his virginity to some guy he never knew the name of. Then after that, his parents probably grew suspicious and tasked Yunho to be his faraway bodyguard.</p><p>It was easier to sneak out because freshman year is nothing compared to senior year. His future looms overhead and even without his family watching him, he can’t really afford to slack off.</p><p>But Taeyong is…he’s like a siren’s call. Hypnotizing. Jaehyun knows for sure that once he texts the singer, there’s no going back.</p><p><em>I’ll give it a day or two, </em>he decides. <em>And then I’ll see if I wanna take a risk for him.</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Two days pass by quickly and Monday afternoon sees Jaehyun checking out some reference books from the library. He then takes a cab to the apartment which is just a twenty-minute ride from the university and instantly falls to the soft embrace of his bed as soon as he arrives. Eunwoo’s Monday schedule won’t end ‘til 8pm, so Jaehyun has the whole, quiet place to himself for a while.</p><p>The quietness forces him to think about the <em>thing</em> he’s been pushing back. Honestly, he’s stared at the number now saved in his phone more times than he’s read the related lit bookmarked in his laptop, that he has already memorized it.</p><p><em>Should I text him now?</em> Jaehyun sits up and pulls out his phone, reclining against the headboard. He stares at the gadget in his hand seemingly screaming at him to just do it. <em>It’s not like he’s itching to hear from me. He will probably reply tomorrow, or not even at all.</em></p><p>Jaehyun takes a deep breath, mentally goes over the pros and cons of getting close to a celebrity AND his studies being affected by it, and finally opens his iMessage.</p><p>He can deal with the consequences later on, whatever they are.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Alright, that’s it for today. We approximately have one month left to rehearse everything with the orchestra. Make sure to be on time tomorrow,” Jaejoong gives JADEITE’s vocalist a sidelong glance before dismissing them and heading over to the orchestra to talk to the conductor.</p><p>Yuta puts his guitar away and picks up a bottled water, gulping down half it. “I forgot how taxing rehearsals are,” he says and tosses the bottle to Taeyong who catches it easily. “Who’s starving?”</p><p>Haechan and Mark raise their hands.</p><p>“Let’s go with Jaejoong <em>hyung.</em> He said there’s this newly opened restaurant around the corner and it’s highly recommended.” The guitarist does an air quote. “Gotta trust his taste.”</p><p>Taeyong finishes the water before crushing it. It lands softly in the half-filled garbage can at the corner. Even the non-living object manages to irritate him at the slightest. The other members know not to be in his bad side whenever he’s not in the mood. And right now, they’re doing their best to minimize talking to him when unnecessary even though they have no idea what exactly got his knickers in a twist.</p><p>What has been dampening his mood for the past two days anyway?</p><p><em>Ding-dong-daeng! </em>Jaehyun hasn’t texted him yet. From the second he wrote down his number, Taeyong has been anticipating a message or even better, a call from his handsome fan. He doesn’t do this – he hates it when Yuta gives his number away to start a fling after another with their fans, and Jaehyun is the only one that cracked his principles. Taeyong is not irritated at the guy. He’s irritated because he might have read the room wrongly and Jaehyun probably already has someone, or not interested in seeing him beyond the fan – idol relationship or worse, he’s straight. God forbid a man that sexy is straight.</p><p>He badly wants to see Jaehyun. This is the first time he’s ever felt like this – restless and impatient, craving another person so strongly that has him losing focus on work. He never loses focus. Yet here he is, scolded for being late, searching his bag for the nth time to rummage for nothing while debating with himself if he’s just infatuated or he has really fallen in love at first sight.</p><p>Can a person really feel such a strong emotion for someone they just met? It’s not even just Jaehyun’s face. There’s something in the way he watched Taeyong and sang along with all his heart. He’s not an expert in reading people but even their interaction is so different from the rest. There’s a force Taeyong cannot explain and it’s so bothersome, because the only way to figure it out is to meet the guy again. If Jaehyun wants to meet him again.</p><p>
  <em>I couldn’t hear his voice that time, but he sang like the song was his. I want to hear him sing.</em>
</p><p>He’s just about to dismiss that thought when his phone buzzes with an incoming message. Taeyong unlocks it and almost loses his grip when he reads who it came from.</p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>[+82 xx xxxx xxxx]: Is this Taeyong? Um, I’m sorry it took me a while to text you. I wasn’t sure if this was a real number, but I’m texting anyway. – Jaehyun</p>
</blockquote><p>Taeyong glances at the others before skittering to the corner with the phone pressed to his ear. He’s so excited that texting Jaehyun won’t do justice. He wants to hear his voice again.</p><p>It rings for half a minute and when Taeyong’s starting to think Jaehyun won’t pick up, the call goes through.</p><p>
  <em>“…Taeyong?”</em>
</p><p>“Hey, Jaehyun. Yes, it’s me. Why would I give you a fake number?” His previous irritation disappears just like that, replaced with nervous excitement. “Is it okay that I called?”</p><p>Jaehyun takes a moment to answer, chuckling just as nervously. <em>“Well, now that I know you’re real, I’m glad that you called. Eunwoo said I should let you call me first.”</em></p><p>“Who’s Eunwoo?”</p><p>
  <em>“He’s my best friend and roommate. We were at the concert together.”</em>
</p><p>“Is that so? Um, listen,” Taeyong grips the phone tighter, as if the object slipping out of his grasp equates to losing track of Jaehyun. “Do you…perhaps wanna eat with the band?” </p><p>
  <em>“Really?! I would lo–”</em>
</p><p>“Or would you prefer if it’s just the two of us?” Taeyong interrupts with a sudden change of mind. He wouldn’t be able to monopolize Jaehyun if the others are present. “I kind of want to just have you all for myself.”</p><p>That’s definitely a hitch of breath he hears from the other line. Another thing – Taeyong hates flirting with fans outside performances. So, when it came out naturally at the sight of Jaehyun, Taeyong knew he’s something else.</p><p>
  <em>“That sounds better, actually.”</em>
</p><p>Did Jaehyun just flirt back at him? Taeyong holds back the urge to shout in glee. “Are you free tonight? Text me your address and I’ll pick you up.”</p><p>Jaehyun tells him to wait as he checks his schedule, and soon agrees to meeting up later. Taeyong quickly says his goodbye when the other band members begin walking his way. “Alright, I’ll see you.”</p><p>“Hey, you’re done packing up? Jaejoong <em>hyung </em>just headed outside.”</p><p>“Err, I’ll make a pass.” Taeyong stuffs his phone in the bag, clear eagerness on his face. “You guys can go without me.”</p><p>“Where are you going?” Yuta steps into his personal space and raises a brow. “Is that a grin I’m seeing? What happened? Who were you talking to?”</p><p>“Jaehyun. I’m meeting him today.”</p><p>“Ohh,” Haechan says teasingly, elbowing Mark. “So that’s the reason your ass was on fire. I’m glad he saved us from dealing with you. Where are you taking him?”</p><p>“I’m not sure yet. Just gonna look up some nice restaurant.”</p><p>“And then?”</p><p>Taeyong eyes Haechan’s suggestive look. “And I’m hoping to get laid. Only if he wants to.”</p><p>“Damn, that’s so respectful of you.” Mark says good naturedly, and Taeyong ruffles his hair.</p><p>“Tell Jaejoong <em>hyung </em>whatever you want. And yes, I’ll be on time tomorrow. Hopefully. If I’m not too sore.”</p><p>They watch their vocalist jog out of the studio, and Yuta scratches his head amusedly. “We’ll probably get laid tonight too if we were half as good looking as that motherfucker.”</p><p>Haechan snorts, following the two on the way out. “I’m just as attractive as him but some people are just too dense to understand what I want, you know?”</p><p>Mark chimes in. “What do you want?”</p><p>Yuta pats the drummer’s back sympathetically as they both ignore Mark’s cluelessness.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I’m baaack,” Eunwoo sing-songs when he returns straight from his last class. He passes by Jaehyun’s room to put the newly checked out books in his and gets changed before knocking on his roommate’s door. “Hey, wanna get fried chicken with me?”</p><p>“Not tonight!” Jaehyun checks himself on the mirror, grimacing at his outfit before giving up and wrenching his door open to drag his shocked best friend inside. “How do I look?”</p><p>Clueless as to what’s going on, Eunwoo gives him a once over. “I don’t know where you’re going but this ain’t it. Get rid of the shirt.” He gestures for Jaehyun to get something new from his closet, brows a little furrowed. “What’s the occasion?”</p><p>“I have a date.”</p><p>Eunwoo almost breaks his neck from how quick his head whips towards Jaehyun’s direction. “Is it with who I think it is?” Now highly interested, he helps Jaehyun pick a nice outfit. Eunwoo hands him a midnight blue extra-long long-sleeved button down. “I’ve only seen this on you once but you rocked it. Tuck the right hem in your pants.”</p><p>Trusting Eunwoo’s fashion taste, Jaehyun quickly changes to it and follows the instruction, nervously patting the fabric down as he stands in front of the mirror for the nth time since the call with Taeyong. “You think he’s gonna like it?”</p><p>“The one he saw on you was less nice, to be honest. But he was still smitten.” Eunwoo says and nods in approval as Jaehyun turns around. Smirking, he brushes off some imaginary dust on Jaehyun’s shoulder. “Thought you were not allowed to go on dates ‘til you graduate?”</p><p>Jaehyun grins bashfully, walking out of the room with his phone and wallet in hand. “But this is Taeyong, so… I guess I can make an exception.”</p><p>“What about Yunho <em>hyung</em>?”</p><p>“I texted him earlier. Said I’d be studying at the library ‘til late. No phone calls allowed inside.”</p><p>Eunwoo stands by the center table as Jaehyun puts on his shoes. “Why didn’t you tell the truth?”</p><p>Jaehyun sighs as he checks the time. Taeyong will be there soon. “Because this one’s not gonna get an ‘okay.’ It’s a school week.”</p><p>“Okay, well, it’s good that you’re going out.” Eunwoo mumbles, scratching behind his ear with a slight look of worry. “But Jaehyun, you still remember what I told you two nights ago, right? About being careful?”</p><p>“…Yeah, I know.”</p><p>They both perk up at the sound of a car honking outside and Jaehyun momentarily peeks through the window before looking at Eunwoo, eyes wide and cheeks flushed. “It’s him. Do you wanna go say hi?”</p><p>Supposing it’s just polite to do so, Eunwoo follows Jaehyun out of the apartment and watches as Lee Taeyong gets out of a slick, black Mazda MX-5 Miata convertible, meeting Jaehyun halfway with a graceful gait that shows he’s indeed a celebrity.</p><p><em>How rich are these people? </em>The question briefly passes through his mind before the sight of Taeyong giving Jaehyun a kiss on the cheek catches him off-guard. <em>Wow, he’s straightforward.</em></p><p>“Um, hi…” Jaehyun can’t even hold back the big, dimpled smile on his face after that kiss. The feel of Taeyong’s lips pressing on his skin tingles.</p><p>Taeyong’s chest aches. How attractive can Jaehyun get? Just a kiss on the cheek and he’s smiling so wide like this? He really scored himself a nice guy, huh? “You’re hungry?”</p><p>“Mm,” Jaehyun says before turning to his best friend awkwardly standing at the sidelines. “This is Eunwoo.”</p><p>“Hi, nice to meet you.” The singer holds out his hand to shake Eunwoo’s before pointing to the car, looking at his date for the night. “You wanna go now?”</p><p>With a heart accelerating faster than normal, Jaehyun waves at Eunwoo before getting in the car, inwardly gawking at its cool interior.</p><p>They drive away as Eunwoo watches with a mild look of uncertainty.</p><p>It’s just normal to worry about your best friend, isn’t it?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Taeyong leads the way inside the Lotte World Tower with Jaehyun next to him, stealing a few glances at the singer who, for some reason, looks extra stunning with just a simple shirt under a black blazer, jeans and sneakers. His ash blonde hair is unusually slicked back, as well as the sides so Jaehyun gets a front row view of the studs along his ear.</p><p>The elevator ride to the 81<sup>st</sup> floor where <em>Bicena </em>is, finishes too soon for Jaehyun’s liking. Taeyong was obviously staring at his reflection on the doors and the younger man couldn’t keep still, though he enjoyed the unadulterated attention given to him.</p><p>A Bicena employee greets them at the entrance, asks for their reservation and leads them to a table by the floor-to-ceiling window where they have a stunning night view of the cityscape.</p><p>Jaehyun, with his background, has been to Bicena a few times before with his family. It’s easily one of his favorite restaurants. Aside from the great food and service, the whole place gives off a warm and inviting ambience. Plus points for his date for taking him here.</p><p>A waiter hands them both the menu. Distractedly, Jaehyun looks over it to stare at the singer while the latter’s busy scanning the list of food and dictating his orders to the waiter. Only when Taeyong asks him what he wants does Jaehyun look at the waiter to recite his usual. He doesn’t even need to look at the menu anymore, but it served as a good cover while he ogled Taeyong in secret.</p><p>The same waiter pours wine in their glasses before leaving them alone.</p><p>Taeyong’s eyes immediately redirect to Jaehyun, lips quirking with apparent tease. “Why were you staring at me?”</p><p>Jaehyun stiffens. <em>Did he know all along?</em> “I was…?”</p><p>“I could feel it.”</p><p>Burning in shame, Jaehyun avoids answering to throw his own question. “Why did you give me your number?”</p><p>As though he’s purposely making Jaehyun nervous, Taeyong picks up the glass to take a sip of his wine, not once severing their eye contact. After putting the glass back down, he wipes the moisture on the corner of his mouth with a finger (<em>Jaehyun gulps – does Taeyong not know the existence of a napkin?!) </em>and sucks the taste off of it.</p><p>“Because you’re captivating,” Taeyong says, fully aware of what Jaehyun is internally going through. “I don’t know if anyone noticed, but I kept looking at your direction during the performance. You’re really hard to ignore. And…I wanted to see you again. Felt like if I didn’t do anything, I’d regret it. Would it bother you if I told you I like you?”</p><p>The gasp gets stuck in Jaehyun’s throat ‘til it dies from his refusal to look very much affected than he already does. He wants to look cool in front of Taeyong, not a putty fan who’s head-over-heels for the other. Although that’s true. “No,” he says, surprising himself with how clear and stable he sounds. “I’m gonna be honest. I’m really…happy. But I guess I’m still in shock. I’ve never been this lucky.”</p><p>“I’m happy too. I really wanted to see you again so when two days passed and you didn’t text or call, I thought I made a mistake.” Taeyong perches his elbows on the table, clasped hands masking his smile. “You’re single, aren’t you? And you’re okay with men?”</p><p>Jaehyun’s heart skips. He licks his lips, hoping that’s enough confirmation <em>and </em>invitation. “I love men.” Internally, he cheers in triumph. Taeyong’s eyes widening a fraction with a knowing glint tells Jaehyun that he’s just as affected.</p><p>A deep, short laugh tears out of the singer. “God, that was a huge stake plucked out of my chest. Thought it would be a shame for someone so attractive to be straight. Did you know I swing both ways?”</p><p>“Not really, ‘cause you guys never talked about dating. But I always felt like the fanservice with Yuta was–”</p><p>“We’re just friends,” Taeyong cuts off with a slight grimace at the thought of getting it on with his best friend. “Nothing beyond that, I swear.”</p><p>“Well, I’m not accusing you or something.”</p><p>Two servers come back with trays of their food. One of them recognizes the vocalist and Taeyong indulges him with a photo before playfully asking not to tell anyone about what they see, which the fan understands with a shy glance at Jaehyun.</p><p>“Should we talk while eating?” Taeyong asks just to be sure and gestures for his date to start eating. “So, when did you become a fan?”</p><p>“Five years ago,” Jaehyun says before taking a bite of the steamed <em>Blackthroat Seaperch.</em> He takes his time chewing before talking again. “I instantly liked your songs. Watched and read everything I could and the next thing I knew, I was already scouring the internet for merch.”</p><p>Taeyong’s expression shows genuine interest. “What about the concerts?”</p><p>“I am not allowed to go to concerts.” Jaehyun says with a little wince. There goes looking cool and mature. “My family is very strict with my studies so I’m content with just watching online. Eunwoo bought tickets without me knowing and my brother let me go, so... I’m glad I did.”</p><p>But there’s not a hint of judgment on Taeyong’s face, so Jaehyun lets himself relax again.</p><p>“I’m glad you did.” For the nth time, Taeyong doesn’t pass on the chance to let Jaehyun know how much he’s interested in him. “What do you study?” The vocalist asks and scoops the soup of his creamy steamed <em>Pork Gukbap, </em>moaning appreciatively at its taste.</p><p>“Business.”</p><p>“Oh? You really must be smart to get into Sungkyunkwan. Yuta and I weren’t really interested in studying so after high school, we immediately formed JADEITE with Mark and Haechan. All of us were in the school’s music club.” Remembering that Jaehyun’s literally their fan, Taeyong bites his lip. “You probably already know that.”</p><p>Jaehyun nods slowly. “I wanna ask questions too but they lean more towards personal and I don’t wanna be nosy…”</p><p>“Ask away, I don’t mind.”</p><p>The student picks up his glass. If he’s going to fuck this up, might as well try to get drunk before the night ends. Bicena’s wine doesn’t disappoint. “Do you date a lot of your fans?”</p><p>When Taeyong pauses from eating, Jaehyun holds his breath and waits for the former to turn him down. The question hangs in the air as Taeyong wipes his mouth with the napkin (<em>thank goodness</em>) and proceeds to look Jaehyun straight in the eyes. “Does that bother you? Wait, don’t answer that. I dated some, of course, but never the fans. Feels like taking advantage of them.”</p><p>Jaehyun’s breath eases out slowly.</p><p>“But I really like you. So even if it was dangerous, you know, giving out my number, I took the risk. Even if I wasn’t sure you’d appreciate it.”</p><p>No matter which angle Jaehyun looks at it, the singer emits nothing but sincerity. Jaehyun smiles, unaware of how sexy it looks to the other. “That makes me really special, then.”</p><p>“Oh, you are.”</p><p>“What about your family? What did they say?”</p><p>“About not going to college? They don’t care. It was expensive anyway so they were more than glad when I picked up a job and did a few small gigs with the band. About debuting, of course they were ecstatic. Money, you get me? No one denies money. And then,” Taeyong pauses to drink his wine, “Regarding my sexuality, they can’t do anything about it. I mean, I’m the breadwinner. It won’t be good to fight with me.”</p><p>Jaehyun purses his lips. That sounds like an easy life. “Somehow I want to switch lives with you. My folks are okay with it but our situations in general… Yours seems liberating. You can do what you want.”</p><p>Is it really liberating? Taeyong wonders for a moment, remembering what they want him to do with the next album. “Can’t you?” He asks his date. “You’re what… 20 something…”</p><p>“22. Does the gap bother you?”</p><p>“Six years? We’re both adults and I know you’re mature as well. So you didn’t serve yet?”</p><p>“No. I’m a graduating student. Maybe when I hit your age.” Jaehyun reclines with his arms crossed, smirking after that teasing jab at the other’s age. “When are you going to serve?”</p><p>Taeyong squints. “You wanna get rid of me already?”</p><p>“No. I want to keep you. I’m just asking so I know how much time is left before I let you go.”</p><p>
  <em>Putty clay, huh. Eunwoo is going to drop his jaw when he hears this.</em>
</p><p>“Mm. I like you. I really like you,” Taeyong says with a slight shake of his head at the younger man’s adorable attempt to sweep him off his feet. “The company said I should enter after the tour. I’m gonna do that. You like your food?”</p><p>“Yeah, this is my favorite. But I eat everything.”</p><p>Jaehyun’s face heats up when Taeyong tilts his head and eyes him suggestively.</p><p>“Everything?”</p><p>He watches as the singer picks up his spoon and licks the remnant of soup there, and gulps at the sight of the barbell on his tongue.</p><p>Jaehyun tugs on his collar, feeling a little too warm.  “Everything.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Taeyong volunteers to pay the bill, reasoning that he was the one that asked Jaehyun out and chose the place. “I’ll let you choose the place next time and you can pay,” he says, sending Jaehyun’s heart into somersaults.</p><p>A next time.</p><p>The elevator ride is comfortably silent, the back of their hands touching as they stand side by side until they reach the ground floor. Taeyong checks the time on his phone before looking at Jaehyun. “Hey, businessman. You have projects to do, school works, stuff like that?”</p><p>A sigh escapes Jaehyun. No matter how enjoyable the night is, he can’t avoid his responsibilities. “Some readings for my research, yes.”</p><p>“Would it be too much if I wanna invite you to my place?”</p><p>Eyes wide and cheeks aflame, Jaehyun gulps. He knows the ensuing events from such invitations.</p><p>And he wants it.</p><p>Taeyong tongues his cheek. “Um, only if you want to. I’m not gonna–”</p><p>“Alright,” Jaehyun breathes out, heart drumming out of control. “Okay. I would love to spend more time with you.” <em>Fuck my requirements. They can wait for a day.</em></p><p>The singer slips his hands into Jaehyun’s and tugs him to the direction of the carpark.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Taeyong’s apartment is situated in a high-rise building, twenty minutes away from Lotte World Tower.</p><p>“So this is mine,” he says, gesturing around the place before taking off his blazer and putting it on the sofa. “Go and take a look around if you want to.”</p><p>Take a look around, Jaehyun does. The place isn’t too big and certainly looks like there’s only one person occupying it. Nevertheless, it feels homey and there’s enough furniture to fill in the spaces and keep it from looking empty.</p><p>From the door, a short hallway leads to the living room adjacent to the kitchen slash dining area. The floor is warmed up by the carpet, its color matching the whole scheme of the apartment. Above the long sofa is a rectangular clock with three little photos of the Eiffel Tower on its left. Opposite is a flat screen tv attached to the wall, speakers on the low mahogany desk as well as a DVD player, a game console, and vinyl record player.</p><p>Jaehyun squats to look at it. “You have vinyls?” He looks behind him and realizes that Taeyong has been watching him, which sets his face on fire again.</p><p>“Yeah, just a few. We released a special vinyl record for <em>Cursed by The Season </em>so that’s a must.” Taeyong then heads to the kitchen so Jaehyun goes back to inspecting the record player, followed by the stack of manga under one of the speakers.</p><p>“Wow, you read mangas?”</p><p>Taeyong comes back with a glass of water for Jaehyun, a little embarrassed for belatedly realizing he’s run out of anything better than water in the fridge. “Yeah, I’m trying to finish Tokyo Ghoul. You can borrow them.”</p><p>Jaehyun doesn’t even ask anymore if it’s okay, and merely says his thanks with an excited grin.</p><p>“Come here, I’ll show you something.”</p><p>Making a mental note to take the mangas home, Jaehyun follows Taeyong. His lips part in awe as he enters what looks to be a music room.</p><p>Taeyong stops by the piano and leans against it, fingers thoughtlessly pressing some keys. “This is where I do some writing and just whenever I feel like playing. Piano, guitar. I don’t do drums.”</p><p>Shelves of their music show trophies as well as other pieces of accolades are aligned on one side, further intensifying the status of the man before Jaehyun. “I thought companies keep your trophies…” He expresses while looking at each of them.</p><p>“They didn’t win them. JADEITE did.”</p><p>“Do the others drop by a lot?” Jaehyun stops before Music Core’s trophy. He remembers this one. Why not, when he stayed up just to vote JADEITE on Mubeat collecting hearts, watching ads, completing missions and even paying just to dump a hundred hearts at once for the band.</p><p>Taeyong’s gaze burns on the back of Jaehyun’s head. “Not really. Sometimes, we hang out at each other’s place but when we’re busy, like these days, we just really want to take a rest after practice.” He sees the way Jaehyun stiffens, and when Taeyong approaches him, the student worries at his lip.</p><p>Jaehyun lets the other tug his lower lip free from being bitten, and places his hands on Taeyong’s waist when the latter’s thumb brushes along his lower lip, smearing a thin layer of spit over it.</p><p>“Don’t worry, me asking you out didn’t disturb anything. We’re just rehearsing anyway.”</p><p>“The setlist will mostly be <em>Telltale, </em>right?”</p><p>“Yeah. You wouldn’t come to our concert then?”</p><p>“Sadly, no. It’ll be the exams week around that time.”</p><p>“Understandable. You should study a lot.”</p><p>There has been a shift in the atmosphere that both of them certainly feel, with the way Taeyong stares at Jaehyun’s mouth, and the latter’s hands gripping his waist tighter, pulling him closer until their hips touch.</p><p>Jaehyun draws a sharp breath at the feel of something hardening against his crotch. “Please don’t tell me you brought me here for nothing.”</p><p>Velvet laughter drips from Taeyong’s luscious mouth, his eyes as dilated as Jaehyun’s. “I was planning to get some, alright. But I thought good boys don’t have sex on the first date?”</p><p>Incensed by the singer’s dig, Jaehyun cups the back of Taeyong’s head and pulls him in for a much awaited, sensual kiss. And god, does his body react so strongly to it, instantly craving for more as his tongue seeks permission with a few licks, and eventually given access to the silver piercing.</p><p>A spit hangs between their mouths as Jaehyun pulls away, panting.</p><p>“Who said I was a good boy?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Soft pants fill the bedroom as Taeyong unbuttons Jaehyun’s top and pushes it off the younger’s shoulders. “Pants off too, babe.” He says, but not giving Jaehyun a chance to do it himself for he’s already zipping it down and tugging it off together with the boxers. A moan rips out of Taeyong as he makes Jaehyun sit with his legs parted, and takes the throbbing length in his hand to give it a few pumps. “God, you’re so thick. You’re gonna fucking tear me.”</p><p>A hand combs through Taeyong’s dyed hair to grab a handful of it when the latter goes down to take Jaehyun in his mouth. “Fuck,” Jaehyun fights the urge to close his eyes. He wants this tattooed in his brain so he will remember it for the next few days, weeks, even months.</p><p>Those lips that sing his favorite songs stretch so enticingly around his girth, sucking him in and coating him wet each time Taeyong bobs his head. And <em>god, </em>that tongue. The barbell. Jaehyun’s cock twitches in excitement whenever the silver ball presses against his vein.</p><p>Taeyong momentarily pulls away to get rid of his clothes, pulling another moan out of Jaehyun.</p><p>“You got more,” Jaehyun pants, gripping the sides of Taeyong’s head as he guides its movement. “You got a stag head tattoo under your belly…?” His body quivers when the singer deep throats him, fucking lack of gag reflex, and swallows around him. “Right before your fucking cock.”</p><p>Where did his lack of filter come from? One second he’s embarrassed, easily moved by the singer’s seductive gaze and then the next, he’s spewing expletives – well, Jaehyun can’t blame himself nor Taeyong. The man is simply dominant enough to make him do things without saying anything.</p><p>Taeyong lets Jaehyun’s dick slip out of his mouth before spitting on the bulbous head and spreading the wetness down with a tricky twist of his hand which sends Jaehyun into overdrive.</p><p>The back of Jaehyun’s head touches the headboard, his thighs quivering. He doesn’t even know anymore when exactly his eyes closed, submitting to the delicious caress of Taeyong’s tongue around his cock. “Please, I want you…”</p><p>“You want me. Of course, you do. Tell me, Jaehyun. How many times have you masturbated to my videos?” Taeyong taps the younger’s arm and beckons him to keep stroking himself as the singer crawls towards the side of the bed and pulls out a box of condoms from under. “Just got the stag head done last month.”</p><p>Jaehyun keeps his eyes on the puckered hole between Taeyong’s butt cheeks, fully aware that the latter’s purposely giving him a show. He can’t wait for it to take him in a hot, wet choke. “T-twice?”</p><p>Taeyong snorts and comes back with the condom as well as a small bottle of lube. “Just twice? You can do better than that.”</p><p>“I didn’t wanna disrespect you.” Jaehyun chuckles, watching the other tear the wrapper with his teeth and slip it on his cock, swatting his hand away. “Not too much, at least.”</p><p>“Just wanna disrespect me a little, huh?” Soon, Taeyong is applying dollops of lube on Jaehyun’s cock. “You think I put too much? That’s nothing. I told you you’re gonna tear me.” After a few pumps, he quickly lies down the bed with his legs shamelessly spread apart to give space for Jaehyun who immediately fills it. “It’s been a while since I bottomed, so. And you’re fucking big.”</p><p>Jaehyun’s whole body burns. Never in his life did he expect to be in such an obscene position with the Lee Taeyong. Imagined countless times, yes. But hoped for it to happen in reality? This is a dream come true. “I’m not <em>that</em> big. You’re exaggerating it.” Caressing the singer’s thighs, he pushes them so he can have a better look at the fluttering hole against his tip.</p><p>Taeyong grins. “Humor me, will you? I got a terrible size kink.” Figuring out he should make things a little easier for the other, Taeyong loops his arms around the back of his knees to keep them in place. “Come on, baby. Make me feel good.”</p><p>Blood pumping in his veins, Jaehyun guides his cock and slowly pushes in, keeping his gaze glued on Taeyong’s asshole as it gradually gapes to accommodate his size. As much as it’s good for him, he doesn’t wanna hurt the other so Jaehyun takes a minute to completely inch his way inside, looking for any sign of discomfort on Taeyong’s face.</p><p>When he’s finally bottomed out, Jaehyun emits a grunt at how <em>tightly </em>he’s being choked. When the fuck was the last time Taeyong had something there? Years? Holy shit. Jaehyun hasn’t even moved yet and he’s already on a highway to heaven.</p><p>“Shit, shit,” Taeyong chants under his breath while taking a few deep breaths. “That kinda stings.”</p><p>“It hurts?”</p><p>“Not really, but I told you it’s been a while. Give me like,” Taeyong sighs. “Give me a second.” Then he laughs softly as he experimentally clamps around Jaehyun. “I feel so fucking full.”</p><p>A myriad of emotions overflow within Jaehyun, viscous and scalding, before he repositions Taeyong’s thighs around his waist and interlocks their fingers on each side of the vocalist’s head. Him pressing down pulls a whimper from the man underneath him. “Will you remember this tomorrow?”</p><p>Taeyong looks up at him, eyes hazy with lust and something else, smirking. “Even if I don’t, we’re going to do it so many times until it’s all I can think of, aren’t we?”</p><p>Jaehyun’s mouth takes Taeyong’s in a bruising kiss as his hips slowly pull back before pushing in, does it a few more times until he hears desperate pleas mixing with harsh breathing. And who is he to deny Taeyong what he wants?</p><p>Sounds of skins slapping bounce against the four walls of the bedroom. If only the inanimate objects had ears, they’d already be listening to an influx of <em>harder, yes, fuck me </em>but Jaehyun wants them all for himself alone, wants him to be the only one to ever hear Taeyong so debauched and lost in the pool of ecstasy.</p><p>It’s so good, so fucking good that Jaehyun wants it to be the only thing he’ll do for the rest of his life. Sex with Taeyong is some standard his previous experiences will never meet. None of them holds a candle to the incredible person in his arms, moaning and writhing as he takes Jaehyun like a fucking champ.</p><p>What if he didn’t attend the charity concert? What if someone else caught Taeyong’s attention? Jaehyun growls as he litters bites and kisses all over the man’s chest, sometimes trailing more on Taeyong’s sleeve. The thought of someone else doing this to Taeyong, making his body arch off the bed as his prostate is hit dead on, making him rake those blunt nails on a sweaty back and leave red, angry lines, it makes him want to fuck Taeyong so hard that his body will only know Jaehyun. Now that he has this once unreachable person in his arms, moaning out his name lecherously, he knows he can never let go.</p><p>His thoughts manifest into the brutal pace of his thrusts, knocking the air out of Taeyong’s lungs. “Harder, like this?” Jaehyun grips Taeyong’s waist and drags his body down in sync with his pounding, mind clouded with pure lust. “Good?”</p><p>“Ah, ah, ah – fuck, yes, yes, baby. Fuck me harder, make me cum….” Taeyong clutches the blood red sheets of his bed while watching the repetitive sliding in and out of Jaehyun’s cock in him. “You’re so good, baby. You fuck me so good.” His back lifts off the mattress once again just as a loud moan tears through him. “Yes, fuck! I’m gonna cum, Jaehyun–s-so close…!”</p><p>Jaehyun then sits on his heels and tugs Taeyong on his lap before securing him in a hug while he fucks up into the latter’s tight body. He watches the pleasure on Taeyong’s face continue to build up until Jaehyun has an armful of a quivering and whimpering Taeyong, ropes of cum painting their torsos.</p><p>His flesh throbs painfully inside the vocalist. Desperate to get his own release, Jaehyun’s hands then cup the other’s buttocks and parts them before grinding his cock up until he’s filling the condom with hot cum.</p><p>They stay that way for a few minutes, just holding on to each other while catching their breaths. Jaehyun then carefully lays the other back down and gently pulls out, a little worried when Taeyong winces. He quickly removes the condom, ties it and heads to what he assumes is the joint bathroom to dispose the plastic. When he returns to bed, he’s got a towel soaked with warm water to wipe Taeyong’s body with.</p><p>“No one has ever done this before…”</p><p>Jaehyun looks at the spent singer through his damp fringe. “This what?”</p><p>“This,” Taeyong weakly gestures to what he’s doing. “This so-called aftercare.”</p><p>“Well, you’re gonna get sick of me doing this from now on.” Anxiety shoots up Jaehyun’s spine as soon as the weight of his words dawn on him. Nervously, he chances a look at Taeyong while gently wiping between his butt cheeks. “Is that…is that okay?”</p><p>The previous indecent music is replaced with laughter. “Fuck, I’d be broken if this would be the first and last.” Taeyong says before pushing himself up to press a quick kiss on Jaehyun’s lips. “Do good boys agree to be boyfriends on the first date?”</p><p>Jaehyun rolls his eyes and returns the kiss, longer and deeper. “I’m not a good boy, but I wanna be your boyfriend.”</p><p>Boyfriend, right after the first date, buzzed with the afterglow of sex? Certainly. There are too many alarming signs blaring in his head but Jaehyun has no time to think about all of them because Taeyong is tucking him under the sheets, placing his head on Jaehyun’s chest and asking him to stay the night. Why would he pass up on that?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The smell of coffee hits his senses, followed by the heat of the sun shining on him through the open window. “Good morning,” Jaehyun hears, slightly hoarse and painfully alike to the voice of his favorite singer. Is he still dreaming?</p><p>Jaehyun rolls on his stomach and pats for his phone under the pillow, but misses it. He frowns. His phone knows no other place when he sleeps but under the pillow since it became a habit years ago. Body heavy with exhaustion for some reason his sleep-addled mind can’t figure out just yet, Jaehyun sits up and rubs his eyes before looking at the covers pooling on his naked lap.</p><p>Naked?</p><p>He looks up and sees an amused Taeyong watching him. “Are you real?”</p><p>“Yes, I am.” Taeyong, only in his boxers, walks around to pick up the mug of coffee from the nightstand and hands it to Jaehyun who receives it with a mumbled ‘thanks’. “Do you eat breakfast? I’d cook before driving you to school.”</p><p>School? What the hell is that?</p><p>…Hold a fucking second. “What time is it?” Jaehyun asks, half scared of wanting to hear the answer and half eager so he can–</p><p>Taeyong picks up Jaehyun’s pants, pats its pockets and fishes out the younger’s phone. “10am.”</p><p>“10am?!” Jaehyun exclaims as he puts the coffee on the nightstand and scrambles to get off the bed, limp dick bouncing at every move. “Oh god, I’m going to be late!” He rushes here and there, not really knowing where to go and what to do as Taeyong stifles his laughter. “I didn’t tell Eunwoo I wouldn’t come back! Oh god I have a class in thirty minutes!”</p><p>“Calm down. Why don’t you go take a shower and I’ll put the coffee in a tumbler so you can take it? I’m driving you to school anyway.”</p><p>Jaehyun almost cries as he cups Taeyong’s face, peppering it with kisses. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” He then scurries to the bathroom and slams the door close, only to open it again and poke his head out. “You’re not sore?”</p><p>Taeyong grins. “Just a little but I’m not gonna die.”</p><p>“Okay, that’s good. But I don’t have clothes. I don’t wanna wear those again.”</p><p>“Just borrow mine. I’m sure I got a lot your size.”</p><p>Jaehyun sniffles and blows the singer a kiss. The last thing Taeyong hears before going to the kitchen is the sound of shower, and muffled curses of a panicking Jaehyun.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He’s still late. 10am makes Seoul a busy bee with its unbelievable traffic and red lights that seem to detect you’re in a rush so it catches Taeyong’s Mazda thrice. Thrice, for fuck’s sake. So, while on the road, Jaehyun takes the chance to reply to Eunwoo’s worried texts. Thankfully his best friend didn’t think of reporting him or worse, calling any of his family members. But Jaehyun thinks it’s fine, since Taeyong’s with him to soothe his irritation and phew, the coffee’s actually good.</p><p>Taeyong stops at one of the entrances, not really knowing where Jaehyun’s class is nearer. “Text me later when you’re free?”</p><p>Jaehyun nods and thanks the man for driving him before getting off the car and running up the stairs. Abruptly, a thought almost forgotten stops him and Jaehyun finds himself running back to the car and rapidly knocking on Taeyong’s window.</p><p>“What is it –”</p><p>Clutching both sides of Taeyong’s hood, Jaehyun bends down and pulls him in for a short kiss. “I’ll see you soon…?”</p><p>A blinding smile is what answers him as well as a knowing look before the window rolls up, and Jaehyun runs inside the building where he spots Eunwoo waiting from a distance, carrying his bag.</p><p>Seriously, what would he do without Cha Eunwoo?</p><p>“This is the last time you’ll spend a night out without telling me, because I almost died thinking of different scenarios to explain your sudden disappearance. Or sudden death, whatever makes more sense.”</p><p>Jaehyun grimaces as he takes his stuff from his best friend. “Thank you for not telling anyone.”</p><p>Eunwoo crosses his arms. “Were you with him all night?”</p><p>“Why do you wanna know?”</p><p>“Because you’re in one piece and you don’t look like you’re hurt so I guess he took good care of you, and I can stop being mad?”</p><p>Smiling, Jaehyun pats Eunwoo’s back. “I’m gonna skip this class and wait for the next one. Wanna stay in the library instead?”</p><p>Eunwoo sighs and playfully shoves him forward. “Fine. You’re buying my dinner tonight.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tension hangs heavy in the air as Taeyong arrives in the studio with the straightest face ever, taking his place at the center with a test tap on the mic. It’s on. “What are we practicing?”</p><p>Jaejoong glares at him through the graded glasses as he leans against the wall opposite the band, and the orchestra they’ve been troubling for the past two days. He’s <em>this </em>close to escalating this to the president. “I don’t even want to ask anymore. Two-minute vocal warm up for <em>Denouement. </em>And you’re not leaving the studio until we go through at least three songs, do you hear me?” His tone leaves no room for protest.</p><p>Taeyong does just that, warms up for a song that will require him to belt out notes one after another while ignoring the band’s inquisitive looks. Once, his gaze catches Yuta’s so Taeyong merely smirks and looks over his shoulder to see if Jaejoong’s watching (he’s not) before walking over to the guitarist.</p><p>“I’m not that sore, but sorry for still being late. Had to drive him to school.”</p><p>“What are you, a chaperone?” Yuta deadpans before zooming in to the reddish spot on Taeyong’s jaw, flicking at it with all the might his fingers can muster.</p><p>“Ouch!”</p><p>“You’re shameless, aren’t you?”</p><p>“Get back to practice!”</p><p>The whole band flinches and gets into position, before Haechan signals the start of the song.</p><p>Jaejoong shakes his head, plopping on a seat as he does so. In the years he’s been handling JADEITE, this is the first time Taeyong is being irresponsible. Late once? No problem. But twice? They’re re-arranging almost half of the setlist to offer something new to the fans, and Taeyong keeps wasting their time. It’s not like him to neglect the band because arguably, Taeyong cares the most for it if his will to write their own songs, compose it with Yuta and ironically, the refusal to let anyone else re-touch their vibe for the next album are anything to go by.</p><p>He doesn’t want his thoughts to head over to the possible reason the vocalist is being like this, because Jaejoong hates to have to intervene. He’s let it happen once, and he doesn’t want history to repeat itself on the people he wants to succeed.</p><p>JADEITE is the success he didn’t achieve, and will always be the success he wants to achieve. Nothing should ruin that.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>If anyone thinks that after Jaehyun’s first fuck up in the university and Taeyong’s second flippancy is the end of their irresponsibility, then they shall suffer the brunt of a huge mistake. Because it goes on for the following days with Taeyong constantly distracted during practice, texting more than singing which is what he’s supposed to do, first and foremost.</p><p>And what happens when he keeps texting Jaehyun? Jaehyun being distracted from class, barely paying attention to his professors, not even taking down notes and when he’s with Eunwoo either during break or at the library, his food and books are often set aside so he can talk to Taeyong.</p><p>To be honest, it’s nice to see that Jaehyun isn’t perennially buried in his obligations as a senior university student because he needs a breather, alright, and Eunwoo understands that better than anyone because he’s the one that knows Jaehyun’s punishing study habits the most. But he can’t just stop worrying, especially after hearing that Jaehyun is already dating the singer. Eunwoo’s fears seem to intensify each day he finds Jaehyun on his phone either texting or calling.</p><p>It only worsens when Jaehyun starts lying to Yunho. Says he’s reading, researching, working on his application letter for internship so don’t bother him, all the while chatting with Lee Taeyong on his laptop, going on a late-night joyride and food trip, or coming home late from a movie marathon. The last nail on the coffin is when Eunwoo wakes up at 2 in the morning to get some water and he overhears Jaehyun in his room, still talking with the singer.</p><p>Reprimanding his best friend is not his job because Eunwoo has already done the most he could do, even before this happened. Jaehyun is an adult, he knows what’s good for him, he knows what’s right from wrong, and if he chooses to neglect the requirements whose deadlines are fast approaching to spend time with his boyfriend, then who is he to take away what makes him happy? Deep inside, Eunwoo also wishes for the vocalist to be the one to push Jaehyun to take things seriously ‘cause what the hell, it has already been a week and Jaehyun has spent two more nights out the apartment. Eunwoo doubts he’s getting things done when he’s with Taeyong.</p><p>They’re moving fast, too fucking fast, and Eunwoo worries they won’t be able to cope if they lose control and no matter how hard they step on the brake, they will inevitably crash.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Come second week, Wednesday afternoon. One of the two days their dismissals are the same. Jaehyun waits for Eunwoo in front of the latter’s room before heading to the library together. And as soon as they sit at their usual table, Jaehyun emits the heaviest sigh ever in all 22 years of his life.</p><p>Eunwoo flips open a journal, ready to look for useful information. “What is it? You got your coffee this morning, and you already have a real reason to turn down anyone who wants to ask you out.”</p><p>“I forgot to finish one paper so I had to beg my professor to give me one chance to make up for it. Guess what,” Jaehyun perches both elbows on the table and cups his face, muffling a groan. “He said I’m nothing special, so I’m getting a fucking zero. Great,” he huffs into his hand before looking at Eunwoo’s surprised face. “Shocking, right? He let a girl pass her paper late last time but suddenly because I’m a man, he has a problem with leniency.”</p><p>“I’m in disbelief because you never had to beg before.”</p><p>Jaehyun shrugs before twirling his pen as he absentmindedly flips pages of the same book he borrowed last week. And it’s due two days ago, which means he has to pay the penalty fee. “There’s just too much to do and I missed it. It’s just one paper anyway… I’ll do better on the next one.”</p><p>Eunwoo shakes his head and starts reading an article, trying to ignore Jaehyun’s obnoxious humming. He recognizes the song. It’s from JADEITE. On another occasion, Eunwoo wouldn’t be irritated but knowing that half of the reason Jaehyun is messing up uncharacteristically is the person that made that song, he can’t help but harbor some grudge against <em>him.</em></p><p>“I’ll sleep at Taeyong’s tonight, by the way.”</p><p>“Again?”</p><p>“Come on, we have less than three weeks before the tour starts and I don’t know if we can still talk properly with the constantly changing time zones.”</p><p>“Yunho <em>hyung </em>called the last time you were out. What am I gonna say this time?”</p><p>Jaehyun bites his lip, ready to bat some puppy eyes at his best friend. “Same thing? He knows we’ve got a research to do. And I take it more seriously than you so I’m frequently at the library.”</p><p>Eunwoo fights the urge to roll his eyes, and opts for a reluctant nod. “But if he texts you, or calls you and you’re not doing some monkey business with your boyfriend, please answer him. He’ll start suspecting if you keep ignoring him.”</p><p>“I know, I know. Thank you.”</p><p>Jaehyun offers his fist for a bump, getting it from Eunwoo exactly five seconds later after the latter had an internal debate with himself whether or not lying for Jaehyun will be worth it in the end.</p><p>Nothing is for certain. Eunwoo will just watch things unfold in the sidelines and hope for the best.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jaehyun heads over to Taeyong’s by himself, not wanting to trouble his boyfriend with picking him up. He has his laptop, reference books and journals in the bag, ready to stay up all night reading headache-inducing articles for the sake of his research’s second chapter. Statistics and data gathering aren’t even as difficult as collecting studies that will support his own – if there’s one thing Jaehyun hates the most about this, it’s searching the internet for valid literature. And paraphrasing, probably.</p><p>Especially now that he’s lagging a few days behind. This particular task on his to-do list has been sitting there for four days, begging to be ticked off. But for some reasons he definitely knows, it’s being pushed aside together with the others. He still has some time left, doesn’t he? Maybe he should start updating his calendar too. It’s not like he can deny Taeyong when the latter wishes to see him. Though, he has his own fair share of neglect of his own volition brought by the need to be with the singer every second of the day.</p><p>Jaehyun refuses to put the blame on anyone, mainly on himself. Because anyone who will be given a chance to spend a day with Taeyong will surely drop whatever prior commitments they have. And Taeyong will do the same for him, right?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Some English movie plays unwatched on the tv to put a little noise in the background as they do their own thing. Since the first date, they’ve become so comfortable around each other to a point that Jaehyun feels like they’ve been together for far longer than nine days.</p><p>Nine days, and he’s already spent three nights with Taeyong doing god knows what couples do when left alone. Maybe it’s the constant texts and calls when they’re apart that make him feel like they’ve been dating for a while. Them getting to know each other through Taeyong’s thousand questions to feed his curiosity. It’s pretty much expected. Taeyong wants to understand Jaehyun as much as the latter knows him to the marrow of his bones. It makes Jaehyun feel like Taeyong really cares about him.</p><p>And their current set-up gives off an illusion that Taeyong, the vocalist of a popular rock band, has always been within Jaehyun’s reach.</p><p>Jaehyun sits on the carpeted floor, ass cushioned with the pillow he got from Taeyong’s bedroom, typing on his laptop. On his right is the vocalist furiously scribbling something on a notepad, only to cross it out, tear the paper, crumple it and repeat the cycle. An hour since they decided to be productive, Taeyong has torn more than ten leaves off his notepad.</p><p>Jaehyun is switching from tab to tab to recheck the information he’s paraphrasing when Taeyong curses under his breath, stealing his attention. Frustration has been obviously radiating off of his boyfriend since Jaehyun arrived despite the former being nonchalant about it, telling Jaehyun not to worry. He’s about to keep doing that but when Taeyong starts gnawing on his lip hard enough to bleed, Jaehyun finally puts his laptop down and reaches out to tug Taeyong’s lip from between his teeth.</p><p>“Are you really okay?”</p><p>Their eyes meet for a solid second before Taeyong sighs, staring hard on his notepad. “Mm. Just writing. Or trying to.”</p><p>“What is it about?”</p><p>Taeyong takes a moment to say something. “Do you like <em>Telltale</em>?” He looks Jaehyun in the eye. “Be honest with me.”</p><p>The vocalist’s sudden somberness takes Jaehyun aback. “Well, yes. It’s all about encouragement and living life to the fullest.”</p><p>“And do you relate to it?”</p><p>Jaehyun purses his lips as he hugs his knees. “You know I can’t do everything I want, but I love the album because the songs are everything I wish to do in life. People don’t always have to relate to things to appreciate them. Why?”</p><p>“…But if you’re going to rank your favorite albums, where do you see <em>Telltale</em>?”</p><p>The student ransacks his brain on how to go about it without offending Taeyong. In the end, he supposes honesty is the best way to do it. “Probably not on the top 3. I like <em>Neverland, Cursed by The Season, </em>and <em>Soul Pirates </em>more.”</p><p>Taeyong nods, his dull eyes back to the scrawls on the paper. “The critics don’t like it, so the company is pushing me to write more for the next album. Said I should try to come up with something new.”</p><p>“Like what?”</p><p>“Something <em>new,” </em>Taeyong licks his lips exasperatedly. “We haven’t sung about it yet and it’s hard ‘cause even if we manage to produce new songs right away, it won’t be guaranteed that it’ll do better than <em>Telltale.</em> Especially that–” He pauses, catching himself before he can spill the real reason why he refuses to write love songs. This thing with Jaehyun is fresh and hurried, not the kind he wants to immortalize in music. He likes Jaehyun, he really does. But Taeyong wants to be careful.</p><p>“Nevermind,” he says and closes the notepad, putting it away. “We have more than a year to release new stuff. Digital single, mini album…probably. We’re not supposed to rush things because of demand, you know? I write in my own pace and we release songs because we want to release them. This is like…slaving around like idols.”</p><p>Jaehyun can’t grasp the weight of JADEITE’s situation. They talk about music production in interviews, but not the problems that come with it. This is new to him, an information he didn’t read off of Wikipedia nor shared by a Twitter mutual. This is raw, straight from the band member himself who’s in-charge of writing the songs that mean so much to him.</p><p>Still, wanting to offer some semblance of comfort in ways he knows how, Jaehyun wraps Taeyong in a sideway hug with his chin on the singer’s shoulder. “Try to convince them to let you take your time. You still have a tour to do and they can’t expect you to give your hundred percent focus on making new songs. Plus, you’re an established band. It’ll be fine if the next album takes time, right?”</p><p>Taeyong melts in the younger’s embrace, the shackles of stress unlocking themselves off his body. “It’ll be fine if we were not expected to fund our juniors’ comeback. Their debut was lackluster and the company isn’t getting back half of their budget. So what we’re earning from the tour as well the next album, it should cover the deficits and support their plans for the new boy group.”</p><p>“They’re not giving you your money?”</p><p>“They can’t do that, but they’re most likely cutting it down. It’s fine, we’ve already discussed it. Money is not my issue, but the stress they’re putting JADEITE through.” Taeyong’s brows furrow once again. “I doubt they really care about the critics because even if <em>Telltale </em>succeeded in all factors, they will still make me do what they’re making me do right now. Imagine, 8 years and we barely have a voice in that goddamn agency.” He takes a deep breath, eyes widening when he realizes he’s been rambling. Redness blooms on his face when he looks at Jaehyun. “Did I sound whiny?”</p><p>Jaehyun giggles. “No. I like it when you talk a lot.”</p><p>“Thank goodness. But enough about me.” Taeyong glances at the laptop. “Are you busy?”</p><p>“I’m writing my chapter 2.”</p><p>“And are you having fun writing your chapter 2, whatever the fuck it is?”</p><p>A snort comes from Jaehyun. “There’s nothing fun about research. Why,” his voice turns mischievous, eyes gleaming. “You going to suggest something better?”</p><p>Taeyong tries to stifle his laughter when he figures out that Jaehyun has already caught on. “Only if you’re up for it. You know I don’t wanna make you do things you don’t wanna do.”</p><p>“I’ve been here thrice before and I wanted everything we did. Spill.” Jaehyun playfully pokes his boyfriend’s side. “What is it this time?”</p><p>“69.”</p><p>Jaehyun falls into a heap of laughter on the floor, clutching his stomach.</p><p>“What. What’s funny!”</p><p>“…I’m starting to think you’re experimenting on me.”</p><p>Even though Taeyong knows that Jaehyun doesn’t mean it in the way that suddenly pricks his chest, he can’t avoid the slight guilt that hit him. “No, I’m not. You’re not an experiment. Am I making you feel that way?”</p><p>Jaehyun notices the sudden change on Taeyong’s expression so he quickly remedies it with a kiss, fingers dipping in the latter’s waistband. “You’re making me feel hot and bothered.”</p><p>Hot and bothered, they both are. Easily aroused by the simplest touches, eager to kick their bottoms off, the couple doesn’t even get to leave the floor as they stuff their mouths with each other.</p><p>Responsibilities be damned.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Friday rehearsals go smoother than expected, pleasing Jaejoong and taking away some of the worries that have been bothering him for the past few days. Taeyong forgot a few cues, causing a domino effect of errors as Yuta and Mark confused themselves with the unexpected mistakes. Haechan tried his best but eventually stopped to let the orchestra’s conductor know they’d be picking up from the start again. Believe it or not, today is better than yesterday. And it’s because even though Taeyong messed up, it wasn’t caused by the constant ringing of his phone and unnecessary calls for quick breaks. Seems like the disturbance is taking a rest from wreaking havoc.</p><p>Maybe Jaejoong should be a little nicer to the band. After all, this is what rehearsals are for. To check and correct mistakes, improve performances. He can’t simply expect the band to be unrealistically perfect only because they’ve been doing this for years. They’re humans, bound to have some shortcomings.</p><p>But he hopes that these shortcomings are nothing extreme to cripple the band. Because while he understands a little bit of problem here and there, he can’t let anything severe damage their career permanently.</p><p>Unlike what happened before.</p><p>As he watches JADEITE practice the last song for today, unwanted pieces of memories assemble in the back of his mind. Of him and someone else in a small studio, singing and writing and planning their old dreams to do music together. Of him and someone else at 2 in the morning, dreaming about standing on stage side by side, starting and ending that path of life hand in hand.</p><p>Until life got in between and separated them. Because life is unfair, life is harsh, and some people have other dreams that he can’t be a part of. And Jaejoong doesn’t want JADEITE to suffer the same fate. He doesn’t want any of them to be blinded by deceptive passion, only promising and good for a short time. He doesn’t want any of them to look away from where they’re destined to head for something so brutally selfish.</p><p>He doesn’t want any of them to give up on music like he did.</p><p>His mind returns to the present as Mark’s voice fills the studio, excitedly telling the band members about his not-so-fun hair bleaching experience. Jaejoong admits blue looks good on him. “Alright,” he says, a preamble to an announcement as he approaches them. “Next week, we’re going to discuss what you’ll do on stage and all that Jazz with the directors. The last few songs don’t need the orchestra so we’ve got to ramp them up. And listen…”</p><p>“Listen, you hardheaded fool.” Haechan playfully pokes the back of Taeyong’s neck with a drumstick, and quickly behaves when he receives glares from both Jaejoong and Yuta.</p><p>The manager continues. “We’ve been on two Asia tours but we all know the preparation this time exceeds what we did before. Please, for the love of god, don’t be a burden. Now, you can pack up and go home. I’ll stay to discuss more things with the directors. Tomorrow, though, we will all sit down for a meeting. Get it? Now scram.”</p><p>Taeyong breathes out slowly as he walks to where their bags are with Mark in tow. He knows that Jaejoong was referring to him and as much as he wants to snap at the other, Taeyong can’t deny that he’s really at fault. Jaejoong is not just their manager. He’s also their mentor. He may not be a musician, but he does the best job at handling and managing the band. So if ever JADEITE fucks up, not even the president will be their worst nightmare, but Kim Jaejoong. He’s more hands on with them than anyone.</p><p>Mark uncaps his water bottle. “<em>Hyung </em>really has his eyes on you, huh? And not even in a good way.”</p><p>“He’s stricter than strict, that is.”</p><p>“Of course he is, and he should be.” Mark and Taeyong both look at the guitarist making his way to them. Yuta raises a brow at the vocalist. “How many times did you miss the cue today? Twice? Thrice? My fingers ache from playing too, you know. Look at Mark’s.”</p><p>“Come on, cut me some slack. I’m still adjusting to the orchestra.”</p><p>“We’ve adjusted to the orchestra two weeks ago.”</p><p>Taeyong dismissively waves at the drummer being purposely obnoxious. “Look, how about I make it up to you guys?”</p><p>Yuta grins sarcastically. “You’re gonna start taking your job seriously?”</p><p>“…I have something in mind that’s even better.” Taeyong smirks, pulling out his phone. “Drinks on me, no limit.”</p><p>Haechan makes face as he zips his bag close. “Fuck off, we don’t even drink that much. But I’m in!”</p><p>“Mark?”</p><p>The bassist nods eagerly, brushing his hair. “Sure, I need to show off my blue hair outside.”</p><p>“The bar is dark, dumbass. But it looks good on you.”</p><p>Taeyong leaves the two to deal with their stupid, mutual pining to ask the lead guitarist who looks like he’s suffering from a rare case of emotional constipation. “Nakamoto?”</p><p>Feeling bad about being an ass to his best friend, Yuta huffs in resignation. “Okay, but just because you’re paying.”</p><p>That brings a wide smile on Taeyong’s face, which instantly makes Yuta feel a lot better – but only for a second, ‘cause Taeyong’s already announcing that he’s going to ask his college boyfriend to join them.</p><p>Haechan exchanges an unreadable gaze with him, while Mark expresses excitement in meeting Jaehyun for the second time.</p><p>Certainly, out of the four members, only two of them are happy about hanging out with the reason Taeyong is being uncharacteristically careless and imprudent.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>Woo Bar</em> hasn’t met its full capacity for the night yet when JADEITE, together with Jaehyun, arrives and takes their reserved seats. Being a first timer, Jaehyun is easily impressed by the UFO-shaped like bar (which is a whopping 18-meter long bar), the egg-shaped seats, the chic and futuristic overall design, as well as its fabulous view of Han river.</p><p>A live DJ takes requests as they get served by the best-selling drinks. Jaehyun is in the middle of gawking at the awesome interactive art display when Mark quickly engages him in a conversation.</p><p>The band enjoys their drinks with some idle chat and a few picture-takings with those that recognize them. They don’t really have any other agenda going to Woo Bar, but to de-stress and surround themselves with the absence of complications.</p><p>Taeyong, without better things to do, puts his arm around Jaehyun’s shoulders and occasionally bothers him by nuzzling the student’s neck and giving it featherlight kisses. Woo Bar has an unspoken rule that everybody should be aware of, just like any other places of uninhibited fun – <em>only the walls have eyes and ears, nothing else.</em></p><p>Something light hits the vocalist’s head and Taeyong touches it as a snickering Haechan does a poor job at pretending he didn’t throw the ball of tissue. “Okay, why?”</p><p>“You’re being so gross right in front of my Gimlet. And you are grossing him out.”</p><p>“Shut up,” Taeyong says before looking at a blushing Jaehyun. He’s so adorably red in the face that Taeyong sees it even in the dim lights of the bar. “Baby, do I disgust you?”</p><p>Furiously blushing, Jaehyun shakes his head no before Mark tugs him back to their conversation. “What did you say?” The music has gotten even louder now, erecting approvals from the denizens.</p><p>Mark finishes his drink, slightly wincing. “Zoids! I got Brastle Tiger and BraveJaguar! We can trade if you want – what do you have?”</p><p>“Several like...” Jaehyun rummages his brain for those he remembers that are still at his parents’. “Decalto Dragon, Glaive Quama, Ultrasaurus… And I have Liger Zero! Lightning Saix!”</p><p>The bassist’s jaw drops. “You got the Lightning Saix?!” Mark exclaims, looking already buzzed after that second glass of Sazerac. “May I borrow it?!”</p><p>Jaehyun shrugs, sipping something he doesn’t know the name of. “Sure…”</p><p>Taeyong gives up on trying to understand what they’re talking about and asks help from the drummer. “What the fuck are Zoids?”</p><p>A look of disbelief passes across Haechan’s face. “Really? Biochemical lifeforms in Planet Zi. It’s an anime!” He nudges a silent Yuta’s side. “Ask the Japanese.”</p><p>“I never liked Zoids. Stop stereotyping me.”</p><p>It’s only then that Taeyong notices the guitarist hasn’t been talking much. “You good?” Taeyong gestures for someone to refill Yuta’s glass.</p><p>“Yeah, I’m just tired. You good?”</p><p>“Ahuh…?”</p><p>Yuta curtly points a finger to the college student who’s still busy entertaining an enthusiastic Mark. “Your boyfriend makes you happy?”</p><p>“…Of course,” Taeyong says a little softly before watching Haechan slip out of his seat to run to the DJ. “Oh hell no,” he starts, already knowing what’s about to happen. The DJ calls over JADEITE’s vocalist to sing them something over a ready backtrack. It’s almost a tradition now. Every time they hit the bar, Taeyong has to sing one of their songs, whatever he chooses to. A free one-song concert.</p><p><em>Run Wild </em>begins to play and Jaehyun watches Taeyong contentedly from his seat. All of a sudden, he remembers how he used to pathetically cry about not having the chance to see JADEITE live and now, here he is, mingling with the band as a privilege of dating their frontman.</p><p>Jaehyun has to pat his chest to calm his drumming heart. Will he ever get used to the fact that he’s literally dating his idol?</p><p>He feels a presence occupy Taeyong’s seat and Jaehyun turns around to look at Yuta. The guitarist never fails to intimidate him. “Hello…”</p><p>Yuta’s mouth merely quirks into a small smile as he thoughtlessly swirls his drink. “You’re a student, right? Aren’t you busy?”</p><p>“Yeah, but I make time if Taeyong wants to see me.” Jaehyun supposes that the Japanese member is curious about that, knowing he’s from Sungkyunkwan University.</p><p>“And how is that working out for you?”</p><p>“Eh?”</p><p>Yuta subtly scoffs, masking it with a gulp of his purple drink. “Taeyong is clingy, isn’t he? I bet dating is kind of distracting right now. Not to mention he’s a celebrity. Do you find it hard, dating someone like him?”</p><p>Jaehyun glances at his boyfriend before looking back at the guitarist. “I don’t mind that he’s clingy. In fact, I like it.” He straightens, picking up what must be Yuta’s intention in breaching the topic. “I promise not to brag about it to anybody. Not even thinking of sharing things I shouldn’t, trust me.”</p><p>“Trust you… Alright.” Yuta sighs and puts his drink away. “Jaehyun, remember what I told you at the meet and greet? I said you were special.”</p><p>“…”</p><p>“Don’t take it too seriously.”</p><p>
  <em>What?</em>
</p><p>“There are plenty things more important than you,” Yuta’s vagueness leaves Jaehyun utterly confused and nervous. “I didn’t think <em>this </em>would be so inconvenient.”</p><p>Words leave Jaehyun, rendering him mute as Yuta makes way to the bar. He fails to understand a single thing the band member wants him to decode, so cryptic but undeniably depreciating. But although Jaehyun has no idea what in particular Yuta is trying to tell him, he’s sure that it has something to do with his relationship to the vocalist.</p><p>Jaehyun isn’t considering the possibility of him interfering with anything because Taeyong already told him not to worry about it. If Taeyong tells him things are okay, then things are okay. Yuta knows nothing about them, so he has no right to tell Jaehyun what to do.</p><p>
  <em>Then if it’s not being a disturbance, what else am I doing wrong?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>The second week ends just like that. Saturday and Sunday see Jaehyun hanging out at Taeyong’s place again while Eunwoo continues to hope that his best friend knows how to deal with the piling works he keeps leaving in the apartment. Eunwoo’s internship application letter is already sitting pretty in his own computer, just waiting to be printed. Meanwhile, he hasn’t even heard anything yet about Jaehyun completing his medical examination. Perhaps the other is already done with it and can’t be bothered to tell? Eunwoo sure hopes so.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And in a blink of an eye, Monday rolls by. The studio is in a state of chaos once again because somehow, Taeyong manages to have a damn sore throat. The whole band can’t even pretend to be fine with it anymore because they’re running out of time, they haven’t gone through the whole setlist yet, there’s still a lot of things to discuss with the organizers and here comes their vocalist, the one meant to sing <em>everything </em>from start to finish, suffering an unexplainable sore throat.</p><p>Yuta puts his guitar on the amplifier and approaches Taeyong while their manager is out. “What the hell are you doing?”</p><p>Taeyong pops a lozenge in his mouth, cluelessly gazing at the guitarist. “What?”</p><p>“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Yuta raises his voice in anger, startling the whole studio. “Do you think we’re okay with you prancing in whenever you want while we try to do things without you? How can we even do things <em>right </em>without you when you’re the singer?! Why do you keep messing up?! What do we need to do for you to get it through your thick skull, that you’re fucking up this band because you can’t stop frolicking with your little boyfriend?”</p><p>Taeyong glances at an uncomfortable Mark, at Haechan watching them with a poker face, before glaring at Yuta. “Really? You are blaming my relationship for my shortcomings? Come on, Yuta. You’re better than that. Leave Jaehyun out of it.”</p><p>“You’re not even going to apologize…?”</p><p>“What should I be sorry for? That I have a boyfriend to spend time with and you have none?” Taeyong huffs, exasperatedly running a hand through his hair. “Look, if you took those flings seriously, you’d have someone worth keeping by now. I wouldn’t be right up your face screaming like a madman just because you’re late a few times.”</p><p>Disbelief and fury fill the guitarist before he grabs a handful of Taeyong’s shirt and jostles him once, arousing panic from the two other members. He resists Haechan’s attempt to pull his arms away. “You’re not seeing the problem because you refuse to, bastard. Being late is not just your issue. You forget lyrics, you miss cues, you’re unapologetic after troubling a lot of people who only want to make this a successful tour, and you can’t fucking write songs even after fucking your fan.”</p><p>Taeyong stiffens.</p><p>Yuta smirks. “That’s the truth, right? No, you’re not in love with him, not even infatuated with him. You’re fucking Jaehyun because you want an inspiration, you want a muse, and we were actually cool with that until you keep stubbornly coming up with <em>nothing</em> for some fucking reason.” He lets go of the vocalist and wipes his hands down his pants as if touching Taeyong was unpleasant. “Lyrical genius, my ass. You already lost it. The fire in you already died. Maybe we should start waking up instead of trying to involve an innocent outsider? Maybe we should stop fooling ourselves into thinking that you can do it? You can’t do it anymore. <em>Telltale </em>is your evidence.”</p><p>“…I thought we agreed on not pressuring me to write something I can’t write?” Taeyong’s voice rings softly, a stark contrast to Yuta’s thunderous one. “I am trying to, really. At home. Just because you can’t see me when I’m not around, because I’m not telling you what I’m doing – it doesn’t mean I’m not doing anything.”</p><p>Mark sighs loudly. “We know that, but we thought you’d finally be inspired when you got together with Jaehyun. But you’re not telling us anything. We’re part of JADEITE too. We’re as important as you. Do you already have a song? Even just a verse will do.”</p><p>The vocalist keeps his mouth shut, looking away from Mark in shame. He doesn’t see the bassist’s crestfallen expression, and the way his shoulders deflate in disappointment.</p><p>“…See? You still have nothing. And it would’ve been fine, because we understand. We can’t push you to give us something. We respect your reasons. But <em>please, </em>you’re damaging us in other ways. Can’t you please be a little more sensitive? We’ve been together for eight years, Taeyong. It doesn’t make sense that you’re going to neglect us for…for something that just happened two weeks ago. Are you even sure this will last long?”</p><p>Taeyong licks his lips before looking at Mark through his fringe. “I want it to.”</p><p>“But you’re going to break up the band at this rate,” Haechan says monotonously, making the vocalist look at him incredulously. “Keep doing that. I’m not overreacting. We don’t want someone who’s not as dedicated as we are to this.”</p><p>Scanning their faces one more time, Taeyong realizes how serious they are about welcoming the possibility of kicking him out.</p><p>“…Let’s cool our heads for a while, alright?” Taeyong says before grabbing his bag and storming out of the studio, brushing past Jaejoong who has been standing by the door, listening to the commotion.</p><p>Right then, their manager chooses to finally walk in and gestures for Yuta. “He’s been seeing someone and that’s why he’s severely distracted.”</p><p>“Yes–”</p><p>“Who is it? A boy called Jaehyun?”</p><p>Yuta nods hesitantly.</p><p>“Why didn’t you tell me the name when I asked you the first time?”</p><p>“Because Taeyong said we can tell you whatever we want, but we’re not sure if he’s okay with disclosing anything about his boyfriend. So we just told you he’s from Sungkyunkwan University.” Yuta frowns slightly, bewildered by their manager’s sudden interest. “Why…?”</p><p>Jaejoong rubs his temple. What kind of trick is life playing on him now?</p><p>
  <em>Don’t let it be who I think it is…</em>
</p><p>“Sungkyunkwan University. Jeong Jaehyun?’</p><p>Yuta blinks once, and that’s enough confirmation that it is indeed a Jeong Jaehyun, most likely the younger brother of the man that left Jaejoong hanging all those years ago.</p><p>Fuck his luck, truly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Yunho is in the middle of stuffing his white coat in the bag when he hears loud, impatient knocks on the door. Could it be an emergency? The clinic can’t close as long as there’s someone in need. He quickly checks the time and unlocks the front door, ready to ask the person what’s wrong with their pet when he’s greeted by the face of the person whose heart he broke beyond repair. The person who swore that if they ever crossed paths again, they’d break Yunho’s legs and pop a champagne in the ambulance as a celebration.</p><p>“…Kim Jaejoong.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The bricked wall outside the clinic is cold against their backs but Jaejoong refuses to be inside any closed space with his ex. It’s dark, save by the light coming from the clinic’s signage. Despite the chill evening air, the flames inside him fan with silent fury. Jaejoong pockets his lighter and puts the cig between his lips, inhaling nicotine.</p><p>“Are you here to break my legs?” Yunho asks the man from his left.</p><p>“As much as I wish to, that won’t please me anymore. It’s been over a decade and I’m 34, I have better things to do than exert effort on someone who doesn’t deserve it.”</p><p>Over ten years of separation won’t keep Yunho’s chest from tightening hearing those words. And the thing is, he can’t do anything about it because it’s what he deserves. Be it twenty years later, thirty, a hundred, Jaejoong will make sure to give him a little portion of the pain he was given. Vindictive in the smallest ways, as he should.</p><p>The doctor fills his lungs with the smell of evening Seoul, hoping for some courage to get through whatever Jaejoong has in store for him. “I don’t know what to feel. Looking at you and talking to you right now after–”</p><p>“I know what I feel,” Jaejoong blows smoke through the corner of his mouth, glancing sideways. “Looking at you and talking to you is so miserable. I’d rather die than meet you again.”</p><p>“Then why are you here? Hating me kind of doesn’t align with you knowing exactly where I work.”</p><p>Jaejoong stops breathing for a second, face unreadable, before a smile as sunny as a dead man’s grin breaks on his face. The face that never lost its unrivaled beauty even after so many years. “It brings me satisfaction and relief to know what you’ve been up to.”</p><p>Yunho’s heart lurches up his throat.</p><p>“Because I thought, should the need to show you I’m doing perfectly fine without you comes back to me, I should know where to go. But I’m not here for that. You left me alone, I gave up on <em>our </em>dream, and I’m doing much better than your parents thought. It’s over, the chapter about us is over.” Jaejoong flicks the ash and watches it fray even before they hit the ground. “Let’s discuss the pandemonium your brother is causing my band.”</p><p>“…Your band? What does my brother have to do with it?” Yunho crosses his arms before it dawns on him. “JADEITE?”</p><p>Jaejoong raises a brow in sardonic amusement. “I’m surprised you know who they are. Thought music was useless as hell? Do your parents know your brother listens to these demonic, tattooed people?”</p><p>Yunho’s jaw clenches. “I just know Jaehyun is a fan of theirs.”</p><p>“He’s dating the frontman. It’s been going on for two weeks. Huh, so the little Jeong learned to lie.” A chuckle escapes Jaejoong. “Imagine the spanks he’ll suffer from your father once they hear about it.”</p><p>Irritatedly, Yunho asks, “What’s the problem? They’re simply dating.”</p><p>“…What’s the problem? You’re asking me what’s the problem. Shouldn’t <em>you </em>know what the problem is?” Anger blends with incredulity within Jaejoong. He can’t even begin to comprehend the audacity of his ex to ask that.</p><p>“We’re not talking about me, Jaejoong. This is about my brother, and whatever happened before is not going to happen anymore. Stop being paranoid, will you? I made a mistake. Me. Jaehyun is not me, if that’s what you’re so worried about. What are you even, the manager? It’s not in your job description to dictate–”</p><p>When Jaejoong roughly kicks the stone, Yunho knows he fucked up. His ex isn’t exactly known for being patient and gentle. Until now, he can recall the day Jaejoong talked about beating someone in high school because they talked shit about his favorite singer. He won’t put it past the other to do the same thing right now.</p><p>Jaejoong puts the cigarette between his lips again, throat hollowing as he inhales. “Don’t lecture me about control. You succumbed to it, remember? You listened to them, remember? You believed that being with me and doing something as pointless as music wouldn’t get you anywhere, remember? And where did that take you? You’re living a good life. You realized they were right all along. You’re glad you listened to them. Music is chaotic and complicated and being a doctor is… I don’t know. More acceptable.”</p><p>He can try to sound angry and bitter as much as he wants, but Yunho once cared about this man next to him so much that he knows under all that hatred, Jaejoong is more hurt than anything. It practically drips out of his mouth.</p><p>“Your parents are going to do the same thing to Jaehyun.” Jaejoong coughs out gray smoke, ignoring the way Yunho worriedly turned towards him. “He’s already taking Taeyong’s mind off the band. What happens when Taeyong falls too hard and your parents intervene again with their unsolicited opinions? When he leaves Taeyong because <em>rock stars are dirty, dating a doctor or a lawyer or a reputable businessman is better, </em>then what? I care about the band because they’re the dream I gave up on. And I can’t let anyone ruin that for the second time.”</p><p>Yunho shakes his head, itching to tear the cancer stick out of Jaejoong’s grasp. “Don’t drag him in this. Jaehyun is not like that.”</p><p>Shoulders shaking in soundless laughter, Jaejoong stares right through Yunho. “And you’re definitely like <em>that, </em>aren’t you? Let them be together?” His laughter stops, replaced by poison. “For what? Are you so guilty of what you did that you wish to redeem yourself through them? You’re 12 years late.”</p><p>“They are not you and I, Jaejoong.”</p><p>“Alright, they’re not you and I. But one thing’s for sure – once your little brother heeds your parents’ wishes like you did, I won’t let it go. Two weeks, Yunho? Who the fuck falls in love in two weeks anyway? What a load of bullshit. What they have, it’s nothing. It’s a fleeting phase.”</p><p>“We did.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Yunho pockets his hands to stop them from reaching out. “We did. Two weeks. We fell in love in just two weeks.”</p><p>A pregnant pause – so deafening that Yunho wishes to turn back time so he could leave early and avoid this confrontation – before Jaejoong throws his cigarette.</p><p>“And you left as soon as you arrived.” Jaejoong’s empty eyes dart back to the doctor’s. “Tell your brother to stop seeing Taeyong. <em>You </em>know it’s not going anywhere. <em>You </em>know it best. This thing? It was born to die.” He says and turns on his heel.</p><p>Yunho moves to follow. “Jaejoong, wait.”</p><p>Surprisingly, Jaejoong stops but doesn’t look at him. Yunho doesn’t notice how bad the other’s hands are shaking from unresolved anger, hurt, and the traitorous desire to hold him, all at the same time. Has no idea that Jaejoong hates himself the most for harboring feelings for someone in spite of the past.</p><p>“I loved you.”</p><p>Jaejoong swallows down the urge to scream.</p><p>“Think whatever you want, but I loved you.”</p><p>What’s the use of saying all these now? Just because seeing the only person he ever loved for the first time in over ten years makes him feel a lot of things doesn’t mean he can just blurt out whatever he wants. Because it’s useless. Yunho knows it damn well.</p><p>“…I would’ve believed you if you told me that earlier. I waited for five years. If you came back and said sorry, I would’ve forgiven you in a heartbeat. And maybe I would’ve walked a different path for you just so they’d accept me. But it’s too late, Yunho. You’re too late.” Jaejoong then walks away, wishing not to see <em>him </em>ever again.</p><p>Hopefully he himself sticks to it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Arriving at a quiet apartment has been the routine for Eunwoo ever since the university denied them the same schedule. Moreover, Jaehyun usually plays music in his own room so unless it’s <em>him </em>blasting music, the whole place would be as quiet as a memorial ground.</p><p>But upon entering and seeing a stressful Jaehyun sitting on the couch with his open laptop, Eunwoo feels like this is a different kind of quiet – his best friend emits an almost tangible, stressful aura around him, so problematic as Jaehyun sighs five times within the first minute.</p><p>Eunwoo leaves the box of chicken take-away on the dining table, changes in his room and joins the other on the couch. If he didn’t nudge Jaehyun, the latter wouldn’t even notice him. “Need help?” He asks, suspecting that it’s about the research paper. He’s already done with his own draft so he can spare a day to help Jaehyun.</p><p>However, Jaehyun merely shakes his head before facing the laptop towards Eunwoo, showing his undone application letter. “I wanted to work at this company but I called earlier and they said they’re not looking for more interns. They just stopped hiring two days ago.”</p><p>“Okay, then look for another one?”</p><p>“How long is that gonna take me? I haven’t even done my medical tests yet.”</p><p>Eunwoo rubs a hand down his face. “Why haven’t you done it yet? You know that’s only the first step. You need to get a few papers signed before they deem you fit for training.”</p><p>Jaehyun mumbles indistinctly under his breath as he tugs the laptop back and stares at it, not knowing what to type. “I forgot. There are the exams, research, I just lost track of schedule. Are you already done with this?”</p><p>“Already printed it. I’m heading to the company tomorrow.”</p><p>“Fuck,” Jaehyun groans, closing his laptop. He’s messing up big time. He’s been so preoccupied by other things in the form of a certain vocalist that the requirements in order for him to graduate have slipped out of his mind one by one, unbeknownst to him. Usually, he’d be worrying a lot about deadlines. Yet here he is, trying desperately to chase some of them when they’re already out of reach. “I’m not even done with the second chapter’s draft and my adviser is already asking for it.”</p><p>“You still have a week for it anyway. Think about the internship first. Why don’t you ask your parents to help you look for companies? I’m sure they got enough acquaintances to hire you.”</p><p>“Are you crazy,” Jaehyun pushes his laptop away before looking at his best friend like he’s grown two heads, “They’re going to know I’ve been slacking off. No.” Shaking his head vehemently, Jaehyun gets up and heads to the kitchen to open the box of chicken. “Not a chance. Maybe you can take me to where you’re applying and–”</p><p>“I’m not helping you out.”</p><p>Chicken wing pinched between his lips, Jaehyun looks at Eunwoo.</p><p>Eunwoo clicks his tongue, tossing the other the coldest stare he’s ever given. He’s done tolerating Jaehyun’s thoughtless ass. “It’s your fault you’re running out of time because you’re giving them all to your boyfriend. Can’t he understand you’re a senior? From Sungkyunkwan, even? Or did he not get into college that’s why he has no idea you’ve got your hands full and you can’t entertain him all the time?”</p><p>Completely taken aback by the other’s outburst, Jaehyun puts the chicken wing back in the box – makes sure that it’s not touching the rest since he’s already got some spit on that one – and walks back to the living room with his heart already palpitating in indignance. “Hey, was it necessary to insult him? He knows I’m busy and I’m meeting him in my own accord. If I said no, he wouldn’t force me. But I wanna see him.” Jaehyun doesn’t want to get mad at his best friend, so he gently toes Eunwoo’s shoe in hopes of getting him to calm down. “You could’ve just said no, you don’t wanna help me, and left it at that.”</p><p>“Do you really expect me to just <em>leave it at that</em>?” Eunwoo stays seated, glaring up at his best friend. “I didn’t want to meddle because I thought you could handle yourself but you can’t. And now you’re complaining to me. Before you committed yourself to the guy, you should’ve first thought about it hard, but no. You went on one date and then suddenly your world revolves around him. What are you gonna do now, when millions of other students are starting their internship and you haven’t taken a single step?”</p><p>Anger slowly surges up Jaehyun’s head, not quite understanding why Eunwoo seems to blame Taeyong still. “I just said it’s my fault. Why can’t you keep him out of your mouth?”</p><p>“Because if you couldn’t make the right decision, he should’ve done it for you. He’s years older than you, isn’t he? He should’ve helped encouraged you to prioritize what’s more important right now. Seems to me that you’re both immature.” Eunwoo brushes past Jaehyun, planning to get locked up in his own room but the latter isn’t done with him yet.</p><p>Jaehyun grabs the back of his shirt and drags him back, ignoring Eunwoo’s protest. “Tell me the truth. I thought you were okay with me dating him? Actually, I don ’t even need your approval, nor your superficial support. You told me you’re happy for me – what now?”</p><p>Eunwoo takes a few deep breaths, mentally debating whether or not it’ll be worth it to be painfully frank with Jaehyun, but there’s no other way to deal with it than giving his best friend a much-needed wake-up call. “Do you really think he’s serious with you?”</p><p>His question has Jaehyun’s expression cracking into one of surprise.</p><p>“He’s a celebrity. He’s much older – why would he take a college student seriously? There are so many warnings, Jaehyun. Getting together on the first date, not caring about your studies, selfishness, and did he already ask you what you wanna do once the tour starts?”</p><p>Jaehyun opens his mouth, wants to say <em>no, we haven’t, but I’ll ask¸ </em>but Eunwoo beats him to it.</p><p>“You’re even lying to your brother not just once, not twice, and I already lost count and it sickens me that I’m an apprentice. Lying countless times already speaks volumes about how reckless you are. If he was a good guy, you didn’t need to lie to Yunho <em>hyung </em>about staying at the library when you were actually with him. You shouldn’t have to make me lie for you.”</p><p>“Then you should’ve told me you didn’t want to do it –”</p><p>“That’s not the point!” Eunwoo exclaims frustratedly. He despises arguing with Jaehyun the most, but it’s unavoidable now. “How well do you even know him past Wikipedia and Youtube? Are you a hundred percent sure that he’s serious with you? Jae, you can’t trust someone just like that no matter how much you idolize them. Did he tell you you’re the only one? What happens when they start touring? They like gullible fans like you. This is just a fling at best, another notch in his belt. Come on, it’s not worth fucking up university. You don’t wanna ruin your dreams for him–”</p><p>“You don’t even know what my dreams are.” Jaehyun deadpans, tone icy. Emotions run wild in his chest, unsure what to do about the truths Eunwoo spilled on him. Rationality has been knocking on his head since the conversation with Yuta but Jaehyun, too smitten with the man he’s been looking up to for five years, too hung up on the idea of dating a man like Taeyong, refuses to <em>think. </em>Because he knows it’s gonna lead him to what’s happening at the moment.</p><p>Eunwoo huffs disbelievingly, taking a step back. Every second that passes, Jaehyun becomes a stranger. “And he does?”</p><p>“…Yes, he knows what I really want to do. So he’s not ruining anything because I don’t really wanna be in this goddamn program in the first place.”</p><p>“Wow,” A sad chuckle resonates in the living room of their shared apartment as Eunwoo’s gaze scans Jaehyun from head to toe, desperately looking for the best friend he knows. “So much for being best friends, huh?”</p><p>Jaehyun scoffs, turning on his heels to gather his stuff. “What kind of best friend wants me to be miserable anyway?”</p><p>“You’re not in love, you’re infatuated!”</p><p>“Stop it, please.” Jaehyun calmly tells him off before storming to his room to get changed. “Don’t you hate my parents? You’re starting to sound like them, though. You wanted me to live a little, right? Well here is me living my life. I’m sorry it’s not meeting your expectations.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It’s a little over 9pm when Jaehyun arrives at Taeyong’s place. He took a quick detour to a supermarket because he feels bad about eating his boyfriend’s food everytime he stays there.</p><p>Jaehyun enters the passcode (Taeyong gave it to him on the first day<em>. Does he change it after each fan he dates?</em>) and welcomes himself in, having already texted his boyfriend earlier. He leaves the paper bag on the table and checks the master’s bedroom before going to the music room.</p><p>A soft, calming melody envelopes him as he finds Taeyong playing the piano. Not wanting to disturb the peace, Jaehyun chooses to take a seat at the side to watch the vocalist play a song he’s never heard before. It’s a minute later when Taeyong presses the last key and slumps on the piano with his head pillowed over both arms, smiling at Jaehyun.</p><p>“You missed me, didn’t you?”</p><p>“I miss you everyday, though?” Jaehyun opens his eyes, not even noticing when they closed. Taeyong’s music soothed the conundrum in his heart and mind. “I’m sorry for texting you last minute. I didn’t even ask if you were busy.”</p><p>“I’ll make time for you.”</p><p>
  <em>But you shouldn’t. You make me feel like I’m special when you do that. But I’m not, am I?</em>
</p><p>Taeyong stares at Jaehyun’s handsome face, taking in the pretty slant of his eyes, his cute nose and his thick, kissable lips. They take his breath away each time he looks at the boy, and maybe that’s why he keeps forgetting the time, the cues, the songs he’s written, and all the people around him. “You look sad, what is it?” He sits properly and scoots to the side, patting the space. “Sit next to me.”</p><p>Jaehyun transfers next to the vocalist and immediately sighs at the warmth that wraps around him. His forlorn expression matches the other’s broken eyes, piquing his curiosity. “Well, my friend and I fought. But it’s not a big deal, we’ll come around eventually. Who doesn’t get into fights, right?”</p><p>“Touché. Happened to me this morning, too.” Taeyong smiles a bit and sifts his fingers through Jaehyun’s hair. “I’ll let you in on a secret.” Moist lips then brush over a red ear. “They got so mad at me I might get kicked out of the band.”</p><p>“What?!”</p><p>The singer cackles in amusement, shaking his head. “Problems happen a lot behind the scenes, we just don’t tell you guys about it. But since you’re my favorite fan, I wanted to let you know even our ugly sides. We’re not perfect.”</p><p>“I know that.” Jaehyun nods firmly, randomly pressing keys. “I hope you settle it soon. They’re not…seriously gonna do that, are they?”</p><p>“Of course, not. They just want me to get myself together.”</p><p>“What did you do?”</p><p>“Got sore throat but I already took lozenges and drank honey water so it’s good. What else? Uh, mixed up my priorities,” Taeyong’s hand hovers above Jaehyun’s, guiding the latter’s fingers to press the right keys into making the right song. “I’m a little guilty about it. Only a little because I don’t regret the reason I’m mixing up my priorities.”</p><p>Yuta’s words begin to echo in Jaehyun’s head, wringing his heart in a painfully suffocating fashion. “Does <em>that </em>reason make you feel happy?” Jaehyun asks, following the tattoo up Taeyong’s arm with his eyes. It’s a little puzzling how someone that looks so rough with his bleached hair, piercings and inked skin can create such heartwarming music. Jaehyun aches to know what Taeyong was playing.</p><p>“It does.” Taeyong says before reaching for the notepad sitting before them, opening it to a certain page. “I’ve been writing, as you already know. And this…I came up with this.” He hands the notepad to Jaehyun, who quickly reads the lines written legibly on the paper.</p><p>“Do you wanna include this in the next album?”</p><p>“Maybe, maybe not. Still need to ask the guys’ opinions. I only have that.”</p><p>As Jaehyun reads the verse over and over, memorizing it, a certain tune begins to accompany the words. Until he’s already singing a song he magically comes up with on the spot.</p><p>The reaction is instantaneous as soon as Taeyong hears what lovely voice Jaehyun possesses. His rapidly beating heart aches so good, asking how come this man beside him is doing anything other than music. Taeyong’s fingers glide over the keys, conjuring the perfect notes to go by Jaehyun’s melody.</p><p>“I didn’t know you can sing so mesmerizingly.”</p><p>Jaehyun clears his throat, cheeks on fire as he puts the notepad back on the stand. “I… I actually wanted to take up music, but my parents disapproved. That’s why I love the band so much, because a lot of your songs talk about the things they don’t want me to do. Like live life however I want, do what makes me happy. You…you never wrote something like this before.”</p><p>“This is the something new they want from me.” Taeyong sighs, and looks at Jaehyun. “Are you happy with me? Like, I know we’re doing things a little unconventionally and I just…hopefully I’m making you happy as much as our songs do. You know, I can’t take you on a lot of dates because we’re busy.”</p><p>“It’s fine, I understand. We can just stay here and do whatever we can and I’m content with that. As long as I’m doing it with you.”</p><p>“Honest?”</p><p>Jaehyun chuckles, pressing a kiss to the singer’s lips. A surprised gasp tears through him when a hot tongue slides in his mouth, followed by the hand on his nape to keep him in place as Taeyong kisses the life out of him.</p><p>No words are needed between them to come to an understanding that their nights can’t end without their bare skins touching in bed, coated in sweat and pulsing with carnal desire for each other.</p><p>Taeyong straddles Jaehyun, panting heavily as he rides the latter with impressive vigor. Pace not once faltering. Moans and whimpers, filthy and lewd resonate around the room with Jaehyun holding his boyfriend in a bruising grip, all the while earnestly fucking up into the delicious tightness. Their names are spoken with so much unbridled need and pleasure they get lost in the sea of <em>yes, just like that, faster, </em>but Jaehyun doesn’t care about all that – because all that matters at the moment is making Taeyong feel good even if he screams inaudibly or chant indecipherably.</p><p>Blinding orgasm hits them at the same time. Taeyong rides out the high with languid undulations before letting his weight fall atop Jaehyun’s. The younger flounders a bit to tie the condom and manages to shoot it in the bin against the wall without having to move from underneath his boyfriend.</p><p>Lithe fingers dance along Taeyong’s skin, tracing the fresh marks Jaehyun left on his body during their foreplay. They brush over lines and points as though connecting dots or creating constellations. “It’s ticklish,” He says, as his boyfriend’s attention pours on the few bite marks on his thighs.</p><p>“Is it?” There’s a hint of tease in the cadence of Jaehyun’s afterglow voice. “Sorry, baby. Can’t help it.”</p><p>Taeyong nuzzles his boyfriend’s neck, inhaling the fresh scent of their lovemaking. “I’m sleepy.”</p><p>“Take a nap, then I’ll wake you up so we can take a shower together.”</p><p>Silence befalls them for a while before Taeyong’s fingers gently press against the other’s pulse point. “It’s been ten minutes, more or less, and your heart hasn’t calmed. Penny for your thoughts?”</p><p>“I don’t wanna be disappointed.”</p><p>“Just ask.”</p><p>Jaehyun exhales slowly. “Are you in love with me?”</p><p>A minute passes by, then another. Jaehyun buries his face on the singer’s shoulder, who merely hugs him even tighter. It’s better that Taeyong doesn’t have an answer because he won’t ever be prepared for it. It is probably a mistake to ask him such question. Their relationship is new and being in love doesn’t make sense at this point.</p><p>He should be alright with the lack of answer. The only problem is, he himself doesn’t even know so he’s hoping to get something from Taeyong, something to hang on to. But now that there’s two of them who have no idea about the exact meaning of <em>this, </em>it only becomes a clear indication that maybe, it doesn’t really mean anything.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Learning from his mistake on the first time he spent the night at Taeyong’s place, Jaehyun ensured that his alarm is on and promptly wakes up two minutes before it blares. Fortunately, since he doesn’t want to wake a deeply sleeping Taeyong. Jaehyun puts his boxers on and heads to the kitchen to make something out of the food he bought last night.</p><p>He’s in the middle of chopping vegetables when the door beeps open and in comes a man Jaehyun doesn’t know.</p><p>Jaejoong halts momentarily before padding across the living room and into the kitchen, stopping before a seat to rest his arm on it. “Good morning?”</p><p>Jaehyun gulps, thoughts of Taeyong seeing someone else jumbling. “Are you–”</p><p>“Whatever you’re thinking, stop it. I’m his manager. He’s been going to rehearsals late so I need to make sure he’s getting there on time. Especially after yesterday. Did he tell you?”</p><p>Relief washes over Jaehyun. “He said there was a fight.” His eyes linger on the newcomer’s. There’s something achingly familiar about this manager that he can’t put on a finger on.</p><p>“There was, indeed.” Jaejoong pulls the seat and plops down, arms crossed. “Jaehyun, I need to talk to you. ‘Cause it seems like your brother didn’t listen to me seeing that you’re here.”</p><p>Jaehyun’s eyes widen before he puts the knife and chopping board next to the sink. “How did you know us?” Right after asking that, blurry memories hit him at once. “Jaejoong <em>hyung</em>?”</p><p>“Can’t blame you for forgetting me. You were just 10 when we met. How’s Sungkyunkwan?”</p><p>“It’s…stressful.” Somehow, this encounter makes Jaehyun anxious. There’s a lull behind him telling him to run away.</p><p>Jaejoong nods, humming. “It must be. Let me guess, you’re taking up something in the field of medicine, or law, or business! It’s business, isn’t it? Since your family already has a vet and you don’t seem like the lawyer type to me.” He smiles up at the student. “Anyway, I talked to your brother last night and I’m just gonna tell you a bit more. You have to listen to me.”</p><p>“Okay…”</p><p>Ah, Jaejoong hopes the poor boy won’t go all melodramatic on him. “I assume Taeyong told you about the problems with <em>Telltale.</em> And that the company wants him to try his hand at a new concept. I mean, that’s what JADEITE is all about. The stone boasts a variety of colors with different meaning each, and they represent the band’s capability to tackle topics through songs. And Taeyong is having problems with the next album since they want him to write about love. Take every bit of its facets and filter them down to make a whole body of music.”</p><p>Jaehyun licks his lips in uncertainty. “What…seems to be the problem exactly?”</p><p>“He can’t relate to what we want him to write. This is where you enter. He told us yesterday he was <em>trying </em>to write something. So I guess the muse is working.” Jaejoong leans forward, gaze piercing. “Jaehyun, you’re here so he can come up with new songs. Once the songs are done, he won’t need any more inspiration. Do you understand what I’m saying?”</p><p>Does Jaehyun understand it? Yes, he does. And it’s so heartbreaking to listen to it, to finally have the confirmation that no, Taeyong is not in love with him. That’s ridiculous.</p><p>Jaehyun turns around quickly to rub his eyes dry.</p><p>“That’s not all. I know how strict your family is and once they discover your relationship, they’re going to force you to break up. You’re already distracting him from the tour preparations. Imagine what it’ll do to his productivity when you leave.” Jaejoong looks away, not wanting to see how much he broke Yunho’s brother. “You should leave while he’s still sleeping.”</p><p>Nodding once, Jaehyun returns to the bedroom and gets dressed as quickly and quietly as he can. <em>Devastated</em> is not enough to encapsulate what he’s feeling. Without even glancing at the slumbering man, Jaehyun walks out. “Thank you for telling me,” he curtly says to the band’s manager before leaving the apartment.</p><p>It’s not even thirty seconds later when the bedroom door opens and out comes a thankfully properly dressed Taeyong, looking at Jaejoong despondently. “…Why did you do that?”</p><p>Jaejoong casually takes out his phone. “It’s for the best. This wasn’t even meant to happen in the first place.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Skipping classes for today doesn’t make him feel guilty. There’s no will to go through the day like usual, knowing it will be fruitless to attend lectures because he won’t even concentrate. All he can think about is being used by the man he feels so strongly for like a disposable utensil. And what’s worse is that he can’t bring himself to hate Taeyong no matter how many times he replays Jaejoong’s words. Is he that crazy about a star that made him think he was within reach of someone as ordinary as Jaehyun?</p><p>His phone has been off. Jaehyun doubts that Eunwoo is going to look for him.</p><p>Be that as it may, Jaehyun still goes back to their apartment after aimlessly walking around the mall to distract himself from pathetically moping.</p><p>First and foremost, the plan is to apologize to Eunwoo for being an ass to him. However, the ones that greet him in the apartment are a note from his best friend on the wall saying <em>I didn’t call him, didn’t tell him anything. &amp; you’re forgiven. Xoxo, </em>and his brother that has been patiently waiting for him to come back.</p><p>“<em>Hyung.</em>”</p><p>Yunho offers a small smile and Jaehyun instantly occupies the space next to him. “I got worried ‘cause you didn’t notify me last night whether or not you’re studying at the library again. But it’s fine. Better not to tell me anything than tell me more lies, right?”</p><p>Jaehyun stiffens, clasping his hands together. This is more nerve-wracking than reporting in front of the class. “How did you know…?” Then remembers instantly. “Jaejoong <em>hyung… </em>You two talked.”</p><p>“…Yes, we did. And I suppose you two talked as well since I have no plans telling you about that.”</p><p>“Did you tell mom and dad?”</p><p>His older brother snorts. “What do you think of me? They don’t need to put themselves in problems that don’t concern them.”</p><p>“But Sungkyunkwan–”</p><p>“You will get your shit together in Sungkyunkwan, Jaehyun. And our parents don’t have to know. You’re 22, not a toddler. And despite of what you did, I still believe in you. Sure, you made a few mistakes, but it’s not too late. You can fix them. Sungkyunkwan accepted you because you’re smart, Jaehyun.” Yunho takes his younger brother’s hand and holds it comfortingly. “I don’t care that you’re seeing someone mom and dad won’t approve of. You don’t need their approval. You don’t need anybody’s approval. Not even mine. And when you decide to let them know, I’ll be right behind you to back you up.”</p><p>Jaehyun’s eyes sting once again but he doesn’t want to cry. He already feels like a loser for almost shedding a tear in front of Jaejoong. “Thank you, <em>hyung</em>. I’m sorry for lying to you. I was just too eager to go out and have fun, but…but you see, I think Taeyong and I are over. It was nothing serious anyway. So don’t worry about talking to mom and dad. That won’t happen.”</p><p>“Was it a mutual decision?”</p><p>“Jaejoong <em>hyung </em>said it’s not–”</p><p>The way Yunho scoffs has Jaehyun flinching in slight fear.</p><p>“Don’t listen to him. He’s not Taeyong’s father. He has a say with the band’s activities, but not his personal life. I just said you’re not a kid anymore so deal with this like one.”</p><p>There are times that Yunho acts like he’s going to toss Jaehyun into space with a single flick, and this is one of those times. Jaehyun withdraws his hand and sighs frustratedly. “Then what should I do?”</p><p>“Talk to him later. Settle your problems today.”</p><p>“You must think it’s crazy to be having this kind of troubles when we’re only two weeks old.”</p><p>“So what if I think it’s crazy?”</p><p>Jaehyun looks up at his brother.</p><p>“If it’s crazy, then let it be crazy. You’re complicating things trying to follow rules that don’t apply to everyone. If it works, it works. If it fails, it fails. It’s not the end of the world. The most important thing to do right now is to talk. Tell him what you think, listen to what he has to say. Then decide together. Don’t let someone else decide for you because that decision will play a huge part in how the future events will converge.”</p><p>Yunho cups the back of Jaehyun’s neck, massaging it like how he used to when they were younger after their parents berated them for digging the soil in the backyard. “Don’t make the same mistake I did. I don’t want you to regret like I do. Be happy, Jaehyun. I want you to be happy.”  </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It takes Jaehyun immense courage and support from Yunho to text Taeyong. They agree to talk, and by the time the vocalist pulls over to pick him up, only Jaehyun is in front of the apartment waiting for him.</p><p>Jaehyun has no idea where Taeyong is taking them. He forgoes asking, afraid that if he speaks, he might say something he’ll regret and blow the whole thing over. So during the whole ride to wherever, no one dares to break the tensed silence.</p><p>He’s been to <em>Seongbuk-dong </em>once to visit a family friend. It’s a rich neighborhood comprising old money, and there’s a nice place past the upscale houses that overlooks the city.</p><p>Taeyong parks the car at an open space and lets Jaehyun step out as he grabs the plastic bag sitting by the center console. After shutting the engine, he heads to where Jaehyun stands before a bricked wall that reaches midriff. One glance down and he sees how high they are.</p><p>The singer takes out a can of beer from the plastic bag, pops it open and hands it to Jaehyun.</p><p>Jaehyun takes the cold drink. “Is this so I can forget the ugly truths you’ll tell me?”</p><p>“It’s just beer. Will barely make you tipsy. And I actually want you to remember everything I’ll say.” Taeyong pops open his own can and immediately takes a swig. Taking Jaehyun’s silence as a cue, he begins explaining. “Jaejoong <em>hyung </em>was right, but he wasn’t accurate. I’m not gonna deny that I tried to write a song out of what we’re doing, but it didn’t work. Remember that night when I kept scrapping what I wrote?”</p><p>How can Jaehyun forget that? That night ended up going down their steamy history.</p><p>“I was unsure of how serious our relationship was and I don’t want our songs to rely on something that might be shallow. I don’t want to romanticize it. I like you, I really do. When I asked you out, it wasn’t because I wanted to use you as an inspiration. You genuinely captivated me and you left such an impression that I even thought it was love at first sight.”</p><p>Jaehyun drinks more. He needs more alcohol and there’s not enough.</p><p>“And maybe it really was love at first sight. I might actually love you, as crazy as it is. I love what we had during two weeks. I love you, Jaehyun, but I’m not in love with you.” Taeyong closes his eyes when he hears a hitch of breath from the other. “And I’m sorry for making you feel like I was just using you. I wasn’t, and I’m not planning to.”</p><p>No amount of overthinking and mental practice can prepare Jaehyun for actually hearing it straight from Taeyong’s mouth. He takes a moment to pull himself together before looking at Taeyong. “So we’re over? You keep using past tense.”</p><p>Taeyong opens his eyes and bravely faces Jaehyun. “You don’t deserve what I can offer at the moment.”</p><p>“Alright, I just wanted to talk so we could make things clear.” Jaehyun empties his can in a few gulps and slams it down the bricked barrier with a short, empty chuckle. “This is not strong enough to drown the pain, Taeyong. This may not hurt you as much as it hurts me, but I’ve been so attracted to you for a long time. It doesn’t matter whether I’m in love or I’m just infatuated, but you’ve become even more important to me. You’ve meant so much more to me than you’ll ever mean to any fan.” He pauses and shakes his head, eyes glazing over as he drinks in the city lights. “I don’t think I can listen to JADEITE again.”</p><p>“I want to see you again.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Taeyong puts his beer next to Jaehyun’s empty can. Like the first time he felt it, he knows that if he just lets Jaehyun go like this, he will regret it. “I don’t want us to end like this, Jaehyun. I like you a lot. And I want us to work on our feelings, figure out what we really feel for each other. How serious we are with each other. We were moving too fast and it was detrimental to both of us.”</p><p>Jaehyun can’t help the sniffle he does. “You just said you basically have nothing to give me.”</p><p>The vocalist sighs before looking back at the cityscape. “They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. I want us to come to terms with our feelings while we’re apart. When the tour ends, we’ll know if we should leave it behind or if we can take it to the next step. You’ve become important to me too, Jaehyun.”</p><p>“…A competition between closure versus picking up where we left off? It’s a little cruel, don’t you think? What if I don’t wanna see you again?”</p><p>“I’ll respect it.”</p><p>“And what if I still wanna see you and you want nothing to do with me?”</p><p>“The possibility of that happening is 30%. There’s still the 70.”</p><p>This time, the airy laugh that escapes Jaehyun is genuine. “How will I know you’re gonna hold on to that 70%?”</p><p>A small smile graces Taeyong’s face. “You’ll see.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“So this is a goodbye for now…?”</p><p>They stand before the front door of Jaehyun’s shared apartment. Taeyong nods slowly, pocketing his hands. “Time flies fast. You won’t even notice a year has gone by.”</p><p>“Thank you for being honest with me, Taeyong.”</p><p>“Don’t thank me for the bare minimum. You deserve honesty.”</p><p>Jaehyun glances at a flickering lamp post on the opposite side of the street before shrugging. “Well then. I’ll wait for the end of the tour. Good luck to your band.” He looks at his <em>currently-ex</em> boyfriend one last time and heads for the door.</p><p>“Jaehyun, wait.” Taeyong grabs the younger by the elbow, turns him around and cups his cheeks to press a soft kiss to his lips. The kiss lasts for three long seconds before Taeyong reluctantly pulls away<em>.</em></p><p>Jaehyun waits for the car to drive off before reaching for the door again, only for it to open and Eunwoo to meet him halfway for a hug.</p><p>“I’m sorry, and thank you.”</p><p>Eunwoo pats his back once and pulls him inside, grinning. “I got Chinese food, you hungry?”</p><p>As if on cue, his stomach rumbles quite loudly. Jaehyun scratches his head as he follows his best friend to the dining table where bags of take-aways are waiting.</p><p>Seriously, what would he do without Eunwoo?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Okay, but you gotta admit that Zoids are actually really cool–” Mark falters as the three of them near the studio. There’s still twenty minutes before call time, and there shouldn’t be anyone playing their tracks until the band arrives. Unless…</p><p>The bassist barges in, instantly glowing when he sees Taeyong talking to Jaejoong. “Heeeey!” He excitedly runs and tackles their vocalist into a tight hug. “You’re early!”</p><p>Jaejoong looks at Yuta and Haechan before turning back to the roughhousing members. “Do your best today.” He then leaves them alone to get ready for rehearsals.</p><p>Haechan greets Taeyong casually like he wasn’t the bluntest the other day. Though it proves to not have scarred their relationship as Taeyong ruffles his hair. “You should hit the sack early; your eyebags are birthing baby purses.”</p><p>“Fuck off. Yuta stayed over and I renewed my Netflix, so.”</p><p>“Netflix and Chill?”</p><p>Mark looks between a scandalized Yuta and internally panicking Haechan. “Why didn’t you tell me?”</p><p>“There’s nothing to tell!” The guitarist pushes Mark and Haechan away before facing Taeyong. “I’m not gonna say sorry, you know.”</p><p>“Eh, it’s fine. I’m learning my lesson.”</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>“What are being best friends for if we’re not going to help each other correct our mistakes?” Taeyong winks at the Japanese member before picking up a working mic, taps it to see how loud it is and boosts them with the usual one-liner energizer.</p><p>“<em>Ready to rock stadiums?</em>”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A year later.</p><p>The office buzzes with a cacophony of hushed complaints from overworked employees, moaned frustrations from those rendering extra hours to finish reports, casual gossips from laid back tenures and bids of farewell from superiors who are logging off at exactly 5 on a Friday afternoon. Jaehyun, interning since getting his diploma, values his time and begins clearing up his desk as soon as the bosses are out of sight.</p><p>Productivity isn’t measured by how long one faces a computer, but by how efficient one does their job with proper time management. Even though a newbie, Jaehyun swears not to be a corporate slave and politely excuses himself to finish work for the day and logs out at the front desk.</p><p>Interning at a small company is the first blatant defiance he did against his parents’ wishes. Jaehyun ignored their show of disappointment and goes with his own reason that he wants to acquire enough experience and work like an ordinary employee with a 9-5 job rather than building a company backed by connections without knowing what it’s like to start at the bottom.</p><p>Eventually, with Yunho’s support, they slowly hop off his back.</p><p>He defies them next when they discover his stash of JADEITE merchandise. Jaehyun made it known to everyone in his parents’ house, before moving out for college, that no one was to enter his room without permission. Perhaps his mother asked a maid to clean a little bit, and found his <em>demonic </em>possessions. Jaehyun receives a call from her that day and immediately pays them a visit just to say that no, they cannot touch his stuff, and that he will not dispose a single one of those <em>reasons of the youth’s collapse. </em>His mother almost collapses, saved by his father’s fast reflexes.</p><p>She’s definitely old-fashioned, narrow-minded, and the embodiment of a boomer but the thought of Jaehyun not talking to them worries her more than the influence of those rock bands to the mind of her beloved overgrown baby. So, she promises to leave his merch alone. Mrs. Jeong does not miss every chance to make a jab at <em>pierced, tattooed men who sings like they’re going to war</em>, though.</p><p>Imagine the horror she goes through (for the second time, having experienced it already with Yunho) when Jaehyun casually mentions over one family dinner that yes, he had a boyfriend back in College, and he was one of those satanic sycophants she loathes so much.</p><p>Mrs. Jeong collapses for real, regaining consciousness ten minutes later with tears down her face before reminding Jaehyun a litany of <em>thank goodness they didn’t drag you to hell, but if you ever marry one of them, be the bigger person and pull them to the right way of living, son. </em>It’s both comical and exhausting.</p><p>Plus, he’s not going to marry anytime soon. He doesn’t even know if he’s going to reconstruct <em>that </em>relationship or wait for a new one to come naturally.</p><p>Jaehyun gets into a Honda Civic gifted by his father for his graduation and carefully drives out of the carpark and into the highway, stereo on.</p><p>Speaking of JADEITE, he kept the albums and songs in his phone but have not listened to them since the breakup. He doesn’t want to decode his emotions with the influence of being a fan. Jaehyun lets them grow through the limited memories, misses <em>him, </em>but doesn’t do anything about it. To keep himself from viewing Taeyong as his idol, Jaehyun permanently signs out of his Twitter account. Deliberately avoids hearing anything about the band. A year later, he has no idea what’s going on with them, if the tour is doing great, if there’s a new album coming out.</p><p>The only thing he knows is the date of their encore concert in Seoul. That day marks the end of their world tour so Jaehyun supposes that’s when he’s going to know whether or not Taeyong wants to reconnect with him. His only concern is the vocalist’s feelings, because after a year of learning his, Jaehyun is certain that he wishes to see Taeyong again.</p><p>He might not be in love with Taeyong yet (it’s hard to be in love with someone you don’t have any communications with), but he certainly wants the man back in his life so they can fall in love with each other in the right pace. Hopefully, it’s the same for Taeyong.</p><p>Jaehyun arrives at the residential building, where he’s now renting a unit after he and Eunwoo parted ways with their college apartment. Eunwoo has a regular job now at the company he interned for and has his own place as well.</p><p>The elevator stops at the 10<sup>th</sup> floor and Jaehyun quickly makes way to his unit, chucking his shoes off at the side and changing into a comfortable pair of plain black shirt and sweatpants before reheating some spaghetti to eat while watching whatever’s currently popular on Netflix.</p><p>He settles for an English series. Bored by the first few minutes of the show, Jaehyun grabs his phone to check on the <em>4 x 1 Tour </em>ticket availability. It’s almost sold out, except for the few remaining seats at the very back.</p><p>“<em>How will I know you’re gonna hold on to that 70%?”</em></p><p>
  <em>“You’ll see.”</em>
</p><p>Surely, Taeyong is not planning to reject him during the talks, right? Jaehyun wonders how the vocalist will relay the message to him whether it’d be rejection or reconnection. He purchases the cheapest ticket and checks his balance to make sure it went through before going to his printer to turn it on, connect his phone to it and prints the paper ticket.</p><p>Nervousness hits him as soon as he holds the ticket. Many questions swarm his thoughts at the same time while looking at the details printed on the paper. The lack of communication has him wondering if Taeyong’s eating healthy and getting proper sleep. Is he overworking himself? Is he happy? Is he having fun with the band?</p><p>
  <em>Is he thinking about me too?</em>
</p><p>Jaehyun is scared. But he’s ready to face the answer waiting for him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>D-Day.</p><p>Jaehyun is nearly dead set on planting his ass on the couch for the whole day and waste his ticket, if not for Yunho and Eunwoo bombarding his phone with screaming texts to stop being stupid. Scared that they’re going to put their plans of wringing his neck to life, Jaehyun finds himself in the shower swimming with nauseous dread. Thirty minutes later, he’s driving with the ticket’s weight getting heavier in his jeans the closer he gets to the venue.</p><p>He arrives right on time as the gates open to let fans in. Jaehyun easily finds the long ass line for the cheapest ticket tier and patiently waits with a pair of sweaty palms and palpitating heart. When he gets settled in his seat with some drinks and hotdog sandwich, he’s very much ready to regurgitate his lunch on the floor.</p><p>“Stop being a pussy, it’s just a concert! If he rejects you, just leave and move on. What a piece of cake,” Jaehyun lectures himself while unwrapping his nicely prepped hotdog sandwich, oblivious of the weird glances his seatmates are giving him. Usually, he’d take time to appreciate his food but his nerves are taking his attention away from it. Five minutes later, his sandwich is gone and Jaehyun stops himself from crying by taking sips of soda.</p><p>When the houselights turn off and the whole stadium erupts into feral cheers, Jaehyun holds his breath.</p><p>They don’t need to wait long before JADEITE appears with an orchestra behind them and starts performing the first song on the rearranged encore setlist. This version of <em>We Are Legends </em>is hauntingly beautiful with the accompaniment of violin whispers and trumpet blows, going perfectly with the guitars and gentler drumming.</p><p>Everyone is in awe with the performance, but Jaehyun’s eyes linger on Taeyong on the wide screen. His now dark hair has grown long enough that he’s got it in a small ponytail. They made him wear a leather jacket, but Jaehyun knows it’ll be discarded soon to let his inked skin breathe. The other members look strikingly good as well, some little makeovers here and there but Jaehyun pours all of his attention on the man whose last kiss still burns on Jaehyun’s lips to this day.</p><p>He forgets the nervousness throughout the mind-blowing concert. Talks passed, the orchestra disappears for the last three explosive songs, and Taeyong hasn’t mentioned anything about <em>that</em> yet. Maybe it’s the answer. Maybe his wish differs from Jaehyun’s. Though broken, Jaehyun doesn’t leave the venue. He will finish it to the last second because it’ll be his last memories of Taeyong before moving forward.</p><p>When <em>Denouement </em>is done and the band delivers their thank you message to the audience, Jaehyun starts picking up his trash, ready to head to the exit.</p><p>“Because you guys made this era a memorable one, we want to thank you by performing one of our new songs that will be a part of the next album.”</p><p>Jaehyun stops halfway from getting up.</p><p>“Our only wish is for all of you to love our music as much as we do, and we are hoping that you’ll give a lot of love to this album as well. Our next album, which will be called <em>Reminisce, </em>has 5 new songs and they are soft rock. Is it okay to take a rest from listening to what we are used to?” Taeyong puts a hand behind his ear to listen to the indistinct screams of excited approvals, nodding with the widest smile as staff transfer a piano to the second stage, with Yuta already holding a different guitar.</p><p>“I see. It seems like <em>Reminisce </em>will be received well. To maintain the surprise for the new songs, we’re going to perform an acoustic version of <em>For You.</em>” The vocalist says before taking his seat behind the piano, with Yuta next to him. “This song was made with a story. It was written with someone in my mind, and heart, and it was written for that person.”</p><p>Jaehyun reclines in his seat, hand cupping his mouth in nervous anticipation as Taeyong sits behind the musical instrument with Yuta next to him.</p><p>Taeyong adjusts the mic and puts a finger to his lips to silence the crowd. His eyes, caught by the camera and projected into three wide screens, are glassy and sparkling. “I don’t know if you’re here, but if you are, I wanna thank you for coming into my life. If I’d be given a chance to turn back time, I would still give you my number. I would still wish to meet you. Jaehyun…”</p><p>Murmurs fill the arena at the mention of his name, and Jaehyun himself stills, hands quivering like the fluttering of emotions in his chest.</p><p>“I hope our answers are the same.”</p><p>Piano resonates in the venue, and even though a year already went by, Jaehyun easily recognizes it to be the music Taeyong played that one particular night.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Without you feels like being stuck in London blue</em>
</p><p>
  <em>On rainy seasons and grayish hue</em>
</p><p>
  <em>When my coins run out in the red telephone booth</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Stuck in there for hours, nothing new</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Jaehyun gasps. It’s the same verse. He doesn’t want to get ahead of anything, but it can only mean that Taeyong was already considering falling in love with him, right? Even before he popped the question, even before they broke up. The man was scared of ruining them that he waited for the feelings to grow and stay alive, for himself to be certain. His feelings, what they had for a short time, they were never shallow.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>With you feels like a walk in London summer</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Warm and fuzzy, a breath of fresh air</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You hold my hand and suddenly things are better</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Walking away alone doesn’t feel so fair</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Taeyong’s singing is the most emotional Jaehyun has ever heard. He can confidently say that Taeyong has succeeded writing a song that he relates to, to pour his raw emotions to.</p><p>And when the chorus comes up, Jaehyun lowers his head to hide the tear tracks on his face.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>But no matter where I go</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I will find my way back to you</em>
</p><p>
  <em>No matter how fast the world turns</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I will slow down for you</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Because every second that counts</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Of sun and rain with you</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Will be immortal in my heart</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Baby I swear it’s true</em>
</p><p> </p><p>The song continues, sweet melodious piano and nostalgic guitar. Jaehyun lets the rest of the lyrics pierce him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Calling you at 3am hearing you say my name</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sleep dissipates I wanna see you right away</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Drive downtown feeling the breeze on my face</em>
</p><p>
  <em>This I realize is why I always stay awake</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>‘Cause there are countless stars in the sky</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And they align so artistically in your eyes</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your smile and laugh makes me feel so high</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I don’t want this to be our last, no more goodbye</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Do all the crazy things with you</em>
</p><p>
  <em>As if it’s our last</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Risk everything for you</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Put them all in the past</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>So when the time comes I gotta be honest</em>
</p><p>
  <em>No reservations, damn inhibitions</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I will tell you I love you</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And let it do the rest</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Let me in, please. I’m Jaehyun! Didn’t you hear him? The song is literally for me!” Jaehyun pleads for the security to let him in backstage. “Just call Taeyong for me, will you? He knows who I am.”</p><p>“What’s going on here?”</p><p>Jaehyun’s eyes widen as he spots Jaejoong. “<em>Hyung! </em>Jaejoong <em>hyung! </em>Please let me talk to Taeyong? Please?”</p><p>Awestruck at the sight of a struggling Jaehyun before the bouncers, Jaejoong lets him past security and leads the man to one of the waiting rooms. “Stay here. They are being filmed for a concert DVD.”</p><p>“Thank you…”</p><p>Jaejoong stares at him for a moment, and pats his shoulder. “Not surprising he likes someone as stubborn as him.”</p><p>Now left alone to wait, Jaehyun paces around the room while rehearsing for all the possible scenarios once Taeyong barges through that door –</p><p>“Jaehyun?”</p><p>It hasn’t even fully registered to him yet when a body crashes against him and shackles him in a tight hug. Jaehyun’s five-minute preparation flies out the window the moment Taeyong kisses him, stealing all the mess of words he has to say.</p><p>“I missed you, I missed you terribly. You wanna see me again, right?” Taeyong blabbers, cupping the younger’s cheeks. “Do you love me too?”</p><p>“And if I don’t? What are you gonna do with that song?”</p><p>Taeyong chuckles, pressing their foreheads together. “Then I’ll continue to sing about my first and last love.”</p><p>“I’m gonna throw up,” Jaehyun teases before tugging the vocalist back for another kiss, this time deeper and filled with everything he’s kept for a year, and will continue nurturing for a long time.</p><p>“Of course, I love you,” And if he wasn't sure before that song confession, then he's a hundred percent certain now. "I'm in love with you."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Exhaustion seeps into Jaejoong the louder it gets in the bar. Afterparties are rewarding and fun, but not for everyone. Swiping a glance over to the band and Jaehyun confirms that they don’t need any more supervision so he silently worms his way out, unnoticed.</p><p>He’s just stepped out when Yunho arrives, looking at him in confusion.</p><p>“What, are you going home? Why did you even invite me?”</p><p>Jaejoong rolls his eyes and leans against the wall nearby the main entrance to light a cigarette. “Waiting is a bitch, especially when I’m waiting alone.”</p><p>Yunho snatches the pinched cancer stick and crushes it with the sole of his shoe, mentally thanking heavens for the lack of protest from the other. “Then we can wait together next time.”</p><p>“For what?”</p><p>“I don’t know,” Yunho shrugs with the ghost of a smile on his face as he stares right at Jaejoong. “Wanna go on a double date? With Taeyong and Jaehyun.”</p><p>“Double date my ass. We’re 35, not 25. Also,” Jaejoong pushes himself off the wall and takes a step closer within Yunho’s personal space. “Just because we’re on talking terms doesn’t mean I’m suddenly into you again.”</p><p>“Oh really? So, there’s not a name to that kiss a week ago?”</p><p>“No names.”</p><p>“Wanna give it one then?”</p><p>Jaejoong doubles over in laughter, supported by Yunho’s hands on his waist.</p><p>“Hey, stop laughing. I’m serious.”</p><p>It takes Jaejoong a few minutes before completely calming down, the last traces of amusement leaving his body when he leans back to the wall, one hand clutching the end of Yunho’s tie.</p><p>“Where have you been?”</p><p>“Office. Finished something for dad.”</p><p>“Mm.’</p><p>Outside, the music from the bar is subdued to a low hum. Jaejoong glances at the Han river over Yunho’s shoulder, just taking in the fact that they successfully finished a world tour, and the current scene playing before him.</p><p>Yunho doesn’t take his eyes away from Jaejoong’s face. “Go on a date with me.”</p><p>“What’s the catch?”</p><p>“I’ll fight for you this time.”</p><p>Jaejoong huffs softly, before smiling at Yunho. “Sounds great.”</p><p>History may repeat itself but it doesn’t mean it will follow the same course. The end can change when one learns its lesson.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment hhh</p></blockquote></div></div>
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